They Say

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

She runs and runs and runs, grasping upon something in the air as if she is holding a kite. She remembers how he use to say, "Fly a kite, not play a kite". Those words ring bells in her head, those haunting memories came by so sweetly when they used to held hands. She then turns back and look, and she sees an empty valley. She lets go of the invisible kite and stop. This time really looking behind her, she stares at the empty valley. Wandering, why issit that the valley is dry and dull? Why issit the dirt turns to dust? Why issit the sun does not shine upon this place yet the breeze is so spiteful and shy.

She closes her eyes and opens them again. She then stares into the mirror and finally understand , that empty valley is her. As she grasps upon the invisible kite,she was actually grasping onto a vain memory of hope and happiness that was lost when he walked out of her life.

She broke down and cried, tears seem to stream down, but the dry grounds quickly absorb those tears still leaving cracks on the dry dirt ground. No matter how hard she tries to cry it out, to feel better. Her scars remain the same, as the ground. Unable to heal, unable to forget, unable to take revenge.

How much does she love, till she gets hurt. How much does she suffer, to gain disapointment. How much care did she put into this, to end up of a disappearance of the one she loves. She turned over the side of her bed, and found a pair of big scissors for cutting cloth. Grabbed it with her shaking hands she stares at them, like they were giving her an answer. She wiped away her tears onto her pillow. Lay down on her bed again, and slowly....just slowly....took the scissors and said, " You took my heart away, and ripped it into fine pieces, without explanation you left, so without an explanantion, I shall leave aswell".

Her mother came into the room to wake her up, only to find her daughter laying cold and bloody on the bed. Tears still stream on her eyes. But a smile was upon her face as she leave this wild.

Cause Shes Got Pretty Eyes

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

A guy asked me for a chance. He is a really good guy, even my classmate says so.

But I said no. My classmate asked me, WHYYY!??

I told her that simply I just see him as friend. Which is true, but also because lately theres someone else in the picture aswell.

I have a ghost in my life, he disappear from my life without an explanation. For two weeks or was it more? He went missing, promising me a good explanation to his disappearance. I waited, and waited, and pondered. Trying to get to him, but somehow he just runs away and continues to disappear. I thought to myself, Im not waiting anymore, so why are you running?

I lost my hope and then someone else comes along to tell me everything is okay. That he wouldnt do what you did to me. But how issit that you just creep into me and somehow tell me that I should still wait for you. urgh.

2 Weeks

It's been so long, where is that so called "explanation"?! that so called I will get to you soon, that so called I will meet you soon, that so called I'll call you soon?

Was it just a lie?

Are you running away from me cause you're bored of me?

Are you running away because you have certain issues? or was THAT also a lie.

Are you dissapearing because you found someone else that you get laid on?

Are you running away because you just ran back to your ex?

Are you even HAVING A PROBLEM!?

Is this who you really are? Manipulative, selfish, player?

Have you been playing me from the start?

Have you ever been true to me?

Am I your rebound?

Am I just a game to you?

Do you even care about me like you said you did?

These are the questions running through my head for the past two weeks that you went missing. Deep inside I'm defending you, saying that maybe you're in some deep shit. but part of me knows that you just don't want me anymore that you just don't care anymore. so why should I care? I don't even know myself.

it would be stupid to say that I dont care cause it's hard, to have someone that you're in love with disappear without any trace or what sort living you broken, dismented, fooled.

Who are you? more importantly Are You Alright? Because I try so hard to keep myself busy to not think of you.

holding onto a hope that you'd come back. Because everywhere I look somehow your shadows and your memories of us just come by. WTF. I hate myself. more importantly, I hate feeling this way.



tuning to: The Fear by Lily Allen


[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

I Feel Like Dancing Tonight

brought to you by,

All Time Low

Shorty said she wants to run away,
says I look like a boy she used to date (Ha!).
Took me by the hand and pulled me to the stairs,
(I’m NOT interested, girl).

Put her tongue all up in my ear, (Gross!)
Almost made me spill my beer, (Oh Shit!)
She’s up and ready to go, but I don’t care.
(Pssh, whatever!)
Coz I’m in the zone,
turn off my phone, I've got my own agenda.

I feel like dancin' tonight,
I’m gonna party like it’s my civil right,
(everybody get kinda awesome).
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare,
because I feel like dancin' tonight.

[Alex laughing]
Everybody getting kind of crunk,
I think some dude just grabbed my junk, (Woah!)
Now I know how Ke$ha must be feelin’,
(Like.. what if we’re the aliens?)
Bros try to turn me upside down.
I put a keg tap to my mouth,
but that’s okay, I’m dancin’ on the ceiling.

Coz I’ve got the groove,
I’ll bust a move; just try and stop me.

I feel like dancin' tonight,
I’m gonna party like it’s my civil right,
(everybody get kinda awesome).
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare,
because I feel like dancing tonight.

Somebody call the police, (Woo-oooh)
I think they’re coming to get me,they said:
“You’ve got the right to remain on the dance floor,
so show us what you got 'cause you know that you got more.

I feel like dancin' tonight,
I came to party like it’s my civil right,
(everybody get kinda awesome).
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare, (Woah!)
'cause I feel like dancing tonight.

Oh, one more time,

I feel like dancin' tonight,
(I feel like dancin'…)
I’m gonna party like it’s my civil right, (Woooah)
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare,
'cause I feel like dancin' tonight (Oh, oh, oooh!)
I feel like dancin' tonight.
[Alex laughing]

THE END!

Jaz dyed her hair blue! Aquamarine!! :)

So How Could I Say No?

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Hello pretty mommah -Johny Bravo-

Omgosh, its 1am, what in the world is wrong with me? I have to be up at 8am tomorrow! =.=

It was suppose. SUPPOSE TO BE MY BREAK tomorrow, but I apparently I am on the creative team in my advertising class to redesign? draw? I dunno people. I sorta kinda finished my research homework, No my research is not done but I am well 20% on the way? Hmm

Im not tired somehow, though my original plan was to watch Vampire Diaries! EPIC PHAIL!

I found some lady having some sex phone conversation in the toilet just now. Well actually I didnt found her, Cheryl did. But gosh, I couldnt stop ease dropping aswell! buahaha.

Today was honestly a very cold and moody day, it was raining! Everyone was getting soaked and annoyed and moody. The day is JUST NOT GOOD, and for the fact that I continously feel cold is NOT a good thing people. Its even freezing without the fan! Anyways people, its late sleep tight, dont let the beg bugs bite. Oh wait, most of the people are already asleep. Hmm Well then SUGAR DREAMS! :)

ps: I just cant stop staring into your eyes <3

tuning to: I feel like dancing tonight by All Time Low.

Tapping Peoples Shoulder.

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Good morning people! Im actually in English Composition class right now....which I find really hilarious as I dont exactly feel like writing about a thesis statement. NOW.

I feel more like typing here and just randomly speaking my mind out for nuts. Yes. Nuts. Im bored ignore this randomness. KIMI STOP LOOKING ON MY SCREEN! BUAHAHAHA.

Kimi is so tempted to look at whatever shit Im actually typing onto my blog. WOW! My blog has the funniest nonsense you can find, trust me. Im actually worried these days for certain stuff, my assignments, projects and also my performance in the near future for a prom. Which up until now I havent had any sort of information at all about the details of the event. Well, I still dont know what I wanna perform to be perfectly honest. Its likes so stressful not to have any info on this, not even knowing any confirmation towards the matter.

YAY! Imma die in thesis statement or apparently FUNNEL INTRODUCTION. Dont ask me what is funnel introduction. GO GOOGLE. MADDAHAI. =.=

Im so excited though cause if I actually do perform for the prom I get to hang with my good friend. Angeline.

This is Angeline, shes my childhood friend, church member and our birthdays are just a day difference. Oh how we click so well, for what? A decade? Haha. I was excited and she was excited aswell, I hope that night would be an escape :) What the hell should I sing honestly!?
Okay perfectly honest now, Im so tired and I cant believe Im actually sitting here blogging instead of listening to this lecture. English Lecture, please do me good and not kill me. Im cold and annoyed and tired. DEAL. :) TEE HEE. Have to help Yip Chun and Vivian out for their assignments later. Tons of nonsense.

Breezy Dance

I actually looked out for bikes now, which is so ridiculous. I try not to look because I knew my decisions are always based on final assumptions. I've made my decision to help myself out, to give you your time and space and to also give me the space to grow and learn how to overcome this fear of losing and fear of being hurt.

it's okay now, I'm slowly adapting to your habits. I'm accepting the fact that you're just like this, and that it shouldn't be a big of a deal. obviously I'm upset just a little but its okay really. it's okay. I'm doing fine.

Because instead of constantly moping and waiting around I realize that I don't need to do all these. I don't need to call or text you because clearly you dont want to have any sort of contact at all. so it's fine that maybe you have your own shit going on and you have your own issues or maybe you decided to venture upon some other girl.

Who am I right? :)

No I'm not being sarcastic just the mere honest truth that I honestly don't bother waiting anymore and I dont bother circling you around my life. I'll wait but not how I used to wait, just so until you decide to appear I'd be glad to say hi to you knowing that youre safe and hopefully giving me the explanation I deserve. bless you bi.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

I Actually Fell For You

I had never admitted this but I actually fell for you. It was so hard for me to say "I love you" because deep down inside I'm thinking, you will leave me soon.

and perhaps my assumption is right anyways,
I actually found information about your past relationship,
No I'm not a stalker but I'm a pretty good one when I need to be babe,
I have a feeling that he'll read this,
I knew that he will find what I'm writing will be about him.

I honestly don't know you well enough,
and for the mere fact that you don't wanna share,
Lead me to find out otherwise,
Some false light has occur,
apparently you cheated, lie, hurt, and force in your past relationship,
I honestly don't choose to believe,
but then again who am I to you?

Up until now you haven't gave me an explanation,
could you blame me for doubting you?
For being afraid? for finding out things that may seem so real to me no matter how hard I try not to believe them?

I wanted an explanation but it's been almost a week,
where the fuck are you?
no calls, no text, no nothing.
I gave up trying to contact you because clearly,
You don't even Wanna talk or explain.

which one are lies? which one are truth?
I can never tell.
but I will only open my arms for you,
when you make the move.

I was the dude in almost every relationship,
I certainly dunwana be a lost puppy following you around,
I fell for you,
but it seems that it didn't matter to you anyways.

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

How I Love Mummy (sometimes)

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

As the post say so, YES sometimes I just love my mum cause she actually spends real quality time FOR me. Awww super love babies, super love.

ITS AMANDA BITCH!

I'm back on track, no more sad moppy Amanda. Today I realized how long it has ACTUALLY been since I last have a decent POST! I mean if you actually read my blog last time, it will be FILLED! and when I say filled I mean FILLED! WITH FUCKING AWESOME GAZILLIONS PHOTOS. And as I went through my photos I notice how many pictures I took, and I havent been able to post it anywhere. So owh why not?

Last Saturday, I had the best time in like.....such a long time. You can call this retail theraphy all you want! But I call this, relaxation baby. I havent been shopping AT ALL! And when mummy and I decided to head down to KL and shop around Bukit Bintang and Pavillion for the first time after like AGES! We had the best mother daughther quality time in years. So aside from shopping, my mum and I found time to actually bond just the two of us. Minus my dad because we didnt wanna wait around for his leg to ''heal'' and head home early because he was tired. Old people. tee hee

So now....as usual, from my usual posting format. (I didnt know I have a format but owh well) Here are some eye soaring....painfully...awesomely....acclaimed CAMWHORE QUEEN SKILLS.....

BRACE YOURSELF!

ITS ME!

This was actually after the shopping where we went to Hock Lee Village? Issit called that? Haha

I waited as my mum went to get some awesome yums!

So yeah I actually got this cool hoodie from of course....FOREVER21

Im just such a Forever 21 bitch! Im a Cotton On bitch aswell. haha.

The guy at the counter was actually such a dick (Cotton On Pavvi). He thinks I dont know anything or whatever product that comes to Cotton On, I mean hello? I actually like literally TOLD HIM OFF! Infront of my mum (which up till now I cant believe I said this infront of my mum)

" Excuse me, but I'm a Cotton On Bitch. I should know"

My mum didnt say anything, infact I think she was proud that I stood up for myself to that dickhole! BET HE IS ZE GHAY! Buahahah

Do I look Korean?

"No mummy, I did not notice your absence. I miss you though"

xp

I feel for this top and shorts. I got the shorts which is sooo

♥

Check it out! Im sparkly like Edward Cullen!

You can call me Bella now :) ♥

blah blah blah.

AND YOU THOUGHT THE CAMWHORING WILL END? HELL TO THE NO (tuning to: Hell To The No by Mercedes from Glee)

Omma's wantan mee soup is yums♥

OMMA!!! ♥

I couldnt eat! haha. These days my appetite is being a bitch having moodswings.

Hungry at odd hours, Full at odd hours aswell.

BITCH!

So after the shopping and makan, WE FINALLY WENT HOME! YAY! The jam in KL IS THE MOST FUCKTARD JAM I'VE BEEN IN SINCE MY TRIP TO BANGKOK!

owh wow you should really be in Bangkok and check out the shopping there! Its the heavens of shopping

♥ But the jam is like a bitch aswell!

So I went home and look what ring I found?!! no! Not the one with the cute thingy on top

The one on my right engagement finger! Aww a gift from Aaron my lovely ex.

My mum was like:

" Youre only wearing it after 3years?! why didnt you wear it earlier!? sho nice"

" Well mummy, you didnt like him anyway"

Come to think of it, she never likes any of my exes until the very end when everything ends. Buahahhaaha.

So here is Marcus.

He actually teman me this morning and watched me do my scamps for advertising class.

AND THEN HE TOLD ME!

you shouldn't be in MASS COMM!!

these drawings are me haha. using fairytales and concept of my likes and hobbies.

This character is repeatedly used because it represents me. :)

♥

Yes I drew all of it and I ♥ all of it buahaha

the end

(this is red riding hood btw)

ps: I officially let go

tuning to: Love Me by Justin Bieber

mobile me please

I'm actually blogging from my itouch damn. haha. I feel so happy now that I don't need to log into blogger through my comp.

my mobile iPod is coming in extra handy for blogging next time. though I cant actually post up my pictures.

Honestly I dont understand why Im waiting for so freaking long for him when I can just go home by now. This inconsistency is killing me seriously. What in the world is going on?

tuning to; Try by Asher Brooks

[Posted with iBlogger from my iPod touch]

The Storm

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Theres a storm coming. Oh Im not talking about the weather sweethearts. Im talking about the person inside me that has been trapped and holded back inside for FAR TOO LONG. Today I experience being dominating, and being well in power again.

Before this, I was just the usual Amanda that takes in whatever crap that people say and just be nice to others without saying ''NO''. I will never fight back and stand up for what I stand for and for what I wanna say. I will just well, follow and not take charge and care about others more than how people would care about me.

Well no more Ms. Nice Amanda, my storm is coming, I can hear my bitchy music playing. The music is on. The game is on, Im ready to bring out my guns. Question is Are You Ready for it? Cause you wont know what to expect baby. Today, as I realise how much I just continously and blindly follow whatever '' S'' says. I notice that I cant be this bitch anymore, Im not your bitch. I will STAND UP and show you that YOU CANT CONTROL ME ANYMORE. You wont be the one playing games and toying me around anymore.

I WILL TAKE CHARGE NOW. I WILL BE IN CONTROL NOW. Im sick of your games. Its time for the other version of Amanda to emerge. The dominating, smart, bitchy, ruthless Amanda. No more " Okay I will follow whatever you say". You mess with the wrong sister.

tuning to: Do It Like A Dude by Jessie J

If I Die Young

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

NO! You do not bury me in satin and lay me down on a bed of roses!

So my version of if I die young, hmm. This has been a very constant thought eversince I was in primary. I always thought to myself, who would cry for me? Who would laugh at me? Who would be bitching? Who would be happy? Who would

Well, Well,Well

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Well here you go again,
Running away from all the sorrows you clinged to,
Holding onto something that you cant seem to catch,
Gasping in air that seems to be killing you,
Well maybe youd think he would feel it too,
maybe its just another perfect getaway,
As memories just shatter you slowly fall apart.

In the voyage of the ride,
You tend to lost yourself on the carousel,
Youre half way carassing your soul,
Holding upon fine pieces of dust,
Captivated by the sands of time,
Lost in amidst of pleasure,
Found in the middle of nowhere,
But stayed right there.

You found a home honey,
Just stay there,
Just stay there,
Even when youre falling apart.

Owh You Know What This Is?

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Morning lovettes! Im honestly lack of sleep, dying from sleeping at 3am cause was busy talking to Angeline. Damn, owh wait you dont know who is Angeline. Nevermind. Damn its so hot in Starbucks, but its not burning at least? Its just really glaring, I wish I can just shut the sun down. I know right the nonsense that I tend to imagine.

Early at 8am, I reached Starbucks infront of my college to finish up my stupid homework. Yes homework sounded so highshool outta nowhere. Damn I just waved at my junior but the guy infront of me thought I was waving at him. The awkward moment, and i just notice that I have the tendecy to rap without even trying to rap. Yes Im typing blindly without even looking at the freaking screen check out the skills people. Yes check it out, zomgosh. Im the queen of this shits man.

Why am I blogging and not even doing my work? I honestly just gave up because its last minute job and yo may ask then why do it last minute? Because I didnt know!!! I was on a fucking holiday mood bitches! DEAL!

rappi

How much I miss spending time in college and having some quality time with my friends and with Marcus including Joanna :( I miss them so so much. Talking on the cell with them last night was even worst. The nostalgic feeling of how frustated and longing you feel for their company. Damn, Im such a mess, damn theres this girl that looks so hot in a baju kurung. And I feel like wearing one right now haha.

Ridiculous as it sounds, this is a pointless post Im just not talking again and Im currently rapping inside my brin. Listening to Skylar Grey and drowning myself in blogging.Damn, I cant believe I just sang out loud. Okay I seriously needa stop. Computer overheating. Damn, HERE I GO.!!!

CHAWS!

tuning to: Invisible by Skylar Grey

HEY BABY!

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Rejections and rejections and rejections buahaha. BENSERN YOU ARE NUTS! Well we are using economics for relationship talks o.o I love Barney Stinsons now for giving girls a point of view of how guys can be a douche haha. Obviously Bensern has really bad point of views.

GUYS VS GIRLS POINT OF VIEW

This is an interesting debate. Still continueing on Skype with this debate after 1hour.

WOW. This is really fun. No for real. No joke no sarcasm hahaha.

Tell The MotherBroke Brothers Be Quiet

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

So today as I woke up half stoned, I had breakfast with my family. It was definately an awesome meal. Headed to work straight afterthat to find myself in major menstrual pain. Damn people, when you have menstrual pains you cant even move or stand without feeling a knife stabbing and scraping your insides. Ladies should know how annoying and frustating this feels.

THANK GOD!!!

MAH BOSS LEMME HOME EARLY YAY!

Hey I aint faking or tripping here okay I am in serious pain. Even being back home my mum was tripping over this whole shit. Heres the deal, I have a family trait that seems to have lack of blood PLUS the period its like x2 of losing blood. Kinda like instant vampire syndrome. So I was back home, took so meds and try heading back to sleep but i just couldnt I kept staring at my phone. As messages come in I kept getting disappointments over and over.

My night is somehow awesome now anyways, having the time of my life skyping with Bensern eventhough we are doing different things now. I miss him buahahaha. But I really really need to be distracted yay! Had the most disgusting dinner and supper. Cant eat much these days, feel like puking RIGHT THIS INSTANT. But honestly the night is still young...right? hahaha. I think I shall go and stone with my songs now :)

tuning to: Whatsit by Anya Marina