A Glimpse Of Hell

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

previously.....


''Whats your name love?''. She was stunned and it took her a second or two to reply him and she finally said ''My name is Cassie''. And he asked '' Is that some sorta nick name or something?''
''Yea...Its Cassidy actually. People call me Cassie for short.''


He smiled leaving her to blush. ''Cassidy? Thats special....what does it mean?''
She was shocked...nobody had ever asked her what her name meant and she replied '' Well. Cassidy is a star...a blue...'' ''Star...the one comes every once in four years?'' he interuppted her.
She smiled and say ''Ye-ah...howd you know that?''


''Hmm..I just know'' He smiled at her leaving her wild with blushes.


As she swept her feet on the ground like a girl in love she told him '' Well I better not be in your way...so....erm..''


''Yeah Ill see you around'' he said with those gorgeous smile again. And before she left she suddenly remembered and she turned around and asked ''Hey...Whats YOUR name?''


He laughed and smile saying'' Its Adam'' . And she smiled replying ''Oh the first guy in the whole entired world''


''Haha....Well howd you know that?'' he asked with that same grin. ''Well I just do'' she replied with a coyed smiled.


'' See you around Cassie the blue star''
''See you around Adam the first guy''


And she left with giggles from the room. As she walked down the corridor, tears slowly streamed down and when she turned back and saw that the classroom was gone as everything else vanishes behind her. She knew she wasnt going to hear that song again. She knew that she wasnt going to be able to feel the same way again. She knew....she would never see him again.



She woke to know that at least one thing was real. Her tears and feelings. She knew that eventhough it was a one night thing. A dream...
but she knew it was worth it to feel the same towards Adam. Because what she felt was real.


..................................................................................................................................................

I was walking on this road...it was like a carnival. It was dark and everything looks so deserted.
I was walking with a bunch of people. It felt like tour, a tour through those deserted dirty, old and dark grounds. And I was just following and following.


I passed by this big red tent. But it looked ridden down and broken. As some circuse performers were looking hungry and restless puffing theyre cigars like it wasnt any good.

And I couldnt take it anymore. Everything here looks so dead and ridden. Whats going on?
I decided to run away from the crowd and as I ran. I dont even know where the heck I was running. I stopped gasp for air and slowly paced backwards looking at the eager crowd walked away from me.


Still gasping for air and walking backwards I accidentally bumped into a stall. I turned and looked behind me, panicked cos I thought I broke something. There was a man in a big hat looking down, his head slowly came up to face me. I saw his face it looked tired and restless. His eyes tired yet alert. His face was so....pale. I could see his jawlines, deep and obvious. His eyes milky and and his lips dry and dusty.


He didnt say a word as I stared at him. And he lift his hands and sway it across the table infront of him. So I guess its his stall. And I looked at what he was trying to show me. The things on his table. Some looked like a weird bottle with liquid inside. Some looked like beauty products but no...theyre not what you usually see. And I look at the price, 8 dollars, 2 dollars. Well Im not sure what currency they use.


Then I took one that looked like a blue tiny bottle and turned around to look at the lable. It says 6 years. And I ask '' What does this mean? 6 Years?''


And the guy replied '' It shall last you six years''

And I asked '' Last for what?''

He looked up into my eyes and say '' It will last you six year in hell. In provides you water for six years'' He sounded tired and scary.


I felt my hair stand up. And then a group of people came and they bought a few bottles and equipment. As they call it equipment because it was liken to equipment and things you could use to make your life easier in hell. Or you could say death in hell.


And some bought three bottles of the liquid thing. So six plus six plus six. So the bottle can last you 18 years of liquid.

And I saw how he gave it to them. As they intend to make a payment he pulled out two strings. The strings were black and white twirled together and he poured out the thick liquid from the bottle and the string absorbed them all. It was weird and scary. I have no idea what to expect. And the people that bought them looked eager and hungry to it. But the man was in no hurry. He gave the people one string and he kept the other. And they ran away greedily.


And I asked '' What is this string for?'' he replied with the same tired tone '' Youre not from here arent you?'' I shook my head and replied'' No...what is this place?''


He looked at me like he was out of breath '' Its where restless soul roams, as they prepare for either heaven or hell. But mostly, hell is the biggest majority here.'' I stared at him blanky and he gasp for long tired air and continued '' They come and prepare themselves, equip themselves actually for hell. They buy this liquid and these other things to have it easier in there. They come out once every year to roam this dusty ol place to stock up. They're addicted to it''


I couldnt say anything because I was wandering why was I here? And this man gave me the creeps. He looked at me again saying '' Well missy? Would you like some equipment aswell?''


I could only swallow the lump in my throat but the air was so dry and I opened my mouth and said '' What about you? Why arent you in either?''


He replied '' I work for nothing, I've been here long enough. Im only waiting for the rest'o me to fade away. You see the dust around you? Restless soul like me fade away into these air. Im halfway there. I'm only dust now.''


And as I went around the stall I saw that his legs were gone but it wasnt like his legs were being chopped off it was more like it was made of sand and wind blew it away. And I couldnt help but to scream.

He smiled at me apologeticly saying '' I got no where to go ya know missy''
And I realise this is a glimpse of hell....

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Okay just for the record. YES MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE AN EGGSHELL/HELMET/MUSHROOM/LITTLEBOY/ blah blah blah. Screw it!


Lately I've only been coped with planning my birthday. I really hope this works cos I NEVER HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY since well primary four. Yeah Im a sad child. You wanna know whats worst? Its in MCD last time. Now Im finally having it in my house and alot of people cancelled on me. I feel so depressed. What happens if no one comes. Dang!


Plus this tragic hair. Superb useless crap! Mummy's phone broke down :( and she bought a new one! Whee...on the same day it broke down she go buy a new phone =.= Oh I finally bought the burfday cake! Its gonna look horrible. Im serious. Cross fingers. Wait lemme use reverse physchology. ITS GONNA BE SO FREAKING AWESOME!! YE-AH.....


Yeap perfect blabbering...yet again..


Eric & I had a fight it kinda got me thinking whats the next step for us? Doubt & Insecurities suck ya know...Currently everything is fine. =/ BTW!! WHY ISNT ANYONE GETTING ME A KUNG FU PANDA OR TOYS STORY tumblr.... =.= zzzzz This is annoying.


........................................................................................................................................................................

She continues walking down the corridor. The light that shone into the window showed that it was in the evening. Outside the dry automn leaves fall slowly. The corridor she walked on was empty and wide. It wasn't scary. It wasn't lonely it was just nostalgic. Stepping into the same place that she didnt know yet again.


It was the circus first then the moon and the rides...now...the corridor she walked on. She remembers it was a school and she knows it was a school but from where? she assumed...She remembers that someone used to play the guitar in that one particular classroom.


And she walked slowly in her ballerina flats. It was as if she was dancing in the corridor, gracefully slowly, gently like there was no rush but yet she was lurching forward for urgency. Her steps were light yet curious.


And then....she heard...


He was playing the guitar at one corner of the classroom. Sitting on the table where it faced the open windy window, where the leaves and flowers slowly sway theyre way into the classroom. Each note touched her, each note reminded her, each note....made her even more curious.


''I know this song'', she thought to herself. And she just stood there at the open door staring at the back of the guy that played the guitar. She closed her eyes and listen to the music ''Oh God. Where have I been? Why cant I have listen to this sooner?'' Without knowing her tears came streaming down.


It was as if the song said to her '' Welcome back my dear, I missed you so much''. And then.....


The music stopped.


She was stunned and immediately open her eyes. Her mind went wild '' Whats going on? Why did the music stop?'' She tried to figure out what was going on tried to see but her tear filled eyes blocked all sights of her vision. She ran her fingers around her hair resting her palm on her eyes and wiping the liquid off. She finally could see.


All she saw was that guy staring at her like a stunner. She blanked out, studdered '' Erh...I...I...''
That guy was still looking for an explanation holding his guitar with his left hand and while the guitar rested on his lap, still facing the way with his head spunned towards her with his hair that was clearly not long enough to cover his eyelashes on the left.


Still studdering '' I....erm...heard...'' '' What are you doing here?'' , too late the guy interupted. In a disbelief of embaressment and stoned moment she answer '' I'm erm..sorry I thought nobody was here...and I heard the guitar...the door was open...I..erm...huh'', she laughed with an awkward shrugged with one hand crossing towards the other.


The guy looked at her with amusement cocking an eyebrow at her replied ''Huh...! So you were just...erm..passing by?'' Now she could see him blush as he turned his whole body towards her while he rumbled with his hair. And she replied with that awkward laugh again '' Yeah sorry, I was blabbering. Erm I'll be on my way now. Sorry!''. As she finished her sentence he quickly interuppted '' Hey!'' She stopped. Turned around slowly as she bit her lower lips. Waiting.


'' Omgosh he's kinda cute. Is he gonna ask my name? Geez why must this be such an awkward moment. Great I just screwed up a chance of being seen as normal'' as she thought to herself.


And he finally spoke '' Erm why were you....crying?'' .


And she thought '' Oh gosh of all question. That! Was what he was gonna ask? What happen to, whats your name? or are you free sometimes?''
She cleared her throat and forced that lump down saying, '' Erh...well...Im...not...sure..'' She shook her head while she gave that awkward smile as if she was guilty of something.


The guy nodded his head and gave the same smile. ''Hmm...you...dont know?''
''Ye-ah......''


And he started laughing. Leaving her as awkward as ever. '' Hey...whats your name?''


In shock she looked up and faced him. She saw his face for real this time. He had big cute eyes. He had an innocent face that has a little edge in them. His lips were perfected with his gorgeous smile. And as he squinted to her she melted a little, he looked so cute as she thought to herself.
At that moment of time it was as if she went to another realm with him.


She hadnt given him an answer yet. She was staring into blank space.


''Hey...erm...'' with a shock she woke up from her thought. ''Huh? What? Wah???''

With a smile clearly amused he repeated '' Whats your name love?''








tuning to: Endless Love by Glee Cast ( favourite song so far :) )

Friends

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

When you have friends that back you up no matter what. How can you ask for more? When you fall so hard you couldnt get up. Your friends are always there.

Shielding you automatically no matter what happens. Its a natural thing, its the instant shock of adrenaline that says ''I have to protect my friend'' or ''I have to help my friend''.


Its the most basic thing in human nature. Some people dont have it due to certain reasons. Friends tell you whats wrong with you. If you have an attitude problem theyd be honest with you. If you look beautiful today they would tell you too. If you are sad and broken they would be there as your shoulder.


I was having a really rough day yesterday. Fought with two ballsacks. Haha. Havent gotten a chance to actually step back and think about the situation. And now I did. I realise how many came for my aid. And I know that they are the ones that I can count on no matter how hard my situations get. Your family may not even understand your feelings because they ''used'' to be like us.


Not anymore...


Your boyfriend/ girlfriend maybe your companion but it doesnt mean they'll stick with you for long and its not like they will get irritated or even understand your pain sometimes.


But your friends....If you have true friends that truly care about you. They are the ones that might aswell be your companion through hardship. The ones that you would count on. :)

I love you! My friends. My companions...my lovers...and loves... :) <3

remember
F.R.I.E.N.D.S


Thanks Una, ZY, Damien, Leanne, Sea Yunn, Kai Yen, Bensern, Jian, Shauna. :)

ps: Im sorry I cried you guys!

Hungry Nights With Sleepless Days

I have never really felt so confused and stuck in the shadows where I usually hide. The shadow I mean a literal shadow of peace in my mind was suppose to be my own saving spot. Somewhere I wouldnt need to bother to cry or shout or even scream and run around crazy withouth any interuption because I had never left that particular door open.


But why? Why now? How many wrong timings Ive gone through and not been bothered and now? I am bothered!!! Im BOTHERED????!!!!!!!! Kanana...


I had the most wonderful conversation last night & I felt like I left my door open. Its a real drag because damn....I really really wanted this! But...somehow..somehow...Im just stuck in the middle of everything. It kills me to know that its wrong TIMING. Whyyyyyy!!! WRONG TIMING!!!! I am stuck in a bittersweet moment. I was sooo freaking happy

LIKE JUMP UP FIREWORKS CANDYLAND RUNNING AROUND WITH A BAR OF HALF EATEN CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY FOUNTAINS AND CRAZY CNADY LAND LIKE WILLY WONKA GONE COOKOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!


Okay Im definately nuts. AND THEN!!!! Here comes the bummer. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????


Then tears just flow out tears just started flooding that open door & yes...Im gone...My Candyland just died and the clouds turn dark and black. I was going...going..Im gone... :(



tuning to:

I Dont Know

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I was at the edge of the same cliff again. I keep having these dreams like Ive been here before a thousands times but its at another end of where I was before. The dreams that happen, it feels like it happened on the same world but different sides of the world.


I thought I was on the same cliff. That sandy dusty ground. The sky felt so near to me but still unreachable. I can see the stars so close at night. But it was daytime this time, I can see that the sky was really blue & I was so near to the clouds. Still unreachable but yet so close.


Somehow rather I was wearing the same white dress again. It was bright and sunny but it was cooling. I didnt even manage to break a sweat. I dont know what I was staring at but I was at the edge of something. I remember being afraid of heights but this felt so different because I couldnt see the ground! All I see is other cliffs that look similar aswell.

Then he appeared again. But he looks different. He was wearing the same white shirt and white pants staring at me. Then I realise it wasnt the same guy that always approach me. It was another guy, and yet a certain farmiliarity appeared. I know him!


I know him in real life. But why him? I could recognize that lighter anywhere I go. He was holding it in one hand spinning it but it was not threatful. It was his habit, but how did I know that? He reached out his hand for mine. I took it knowing that I wouldnt be hurt at all.

We were walking and walking and I was staring at him looking at his face like I was safe. Safe enough to last forever. He held my hand tight but it wasnt hurting me. It felt alert. We reached a stream. The water was flowing and around them was a beautiful wild flowers and trees. Its like something you see in a picture or a fairytale. But it was so real.


I stopped, I didnt know why I was afraid to cross the stream cos I was afraid that I would drown? He looked at my worried eyes knowing what I was afraid of. And he gave me an assured glance. Telling me it was okay because he was here to hold me no matter what. He never spoke but it was as if he talked to me through his eyes. Again another farmiliarity.


He held my hand ready to cross. And the water was cold but not icy cold it was just right. It was until my knees. He lead me again through the water, He couldnt keep his eyes off me but so was I. We walked into the middle and stopped. He asked me to look below my feet. The water was crystal clear and I saw below....sparkling things that I dont know. I thought maybe it was diamond dust or something, But the things move...like fishes...they were what I would call.
Diamond fishes. It was so beautiful, nothing like I would have ever seen.


He then lead me outta the water and we continued walking. There was a small house and suddenly the day turned dark it was already going into the night. The house was so small but again there was a certain sense of farmiliarity.


He stopped before we entered the house. He pulled out a crown made of flowers and put it on my head. He kissed my forehead.And he lead me behind the house where there was a huge garden with a big swing covered with vines that flowers blooms so brightly. The garden was like being Alice in Wonderland. We sat on the grass, oh how the grass smelled so nice. And brought out his lighter again letting me lean against his shoulder while he lights the lighter and shuts it and lights it...and shuts it...and lights it and shuts it...and slowly I woke up.


And I realise.....it was just a dream.

The Crazy Weeks

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I joined Talent Quest! Woah...unbeliveable? Anyhoo I only got through the semi finals. Shall introduce you guys who my guitarist for the semi is. But here is what happen last night. I dont have the pictures yet...so...yeah..I learned how to play the drums@!!! *just a lil la* haha...


I was in this drama for our school Talent Quest night. It was the well known Phantom Of The Opera....For 3 weeks we worked hard and yes alot of chaos and drama where up in the air aswell. But last night was the night! The worked payed off eventhough the sound system clearly sucked. It was a memorable night. I wanna thank Abigail Chong, the director of the drama. Eventhough she is constantly lost in her own translation and she doesnt have well put coordination. Deep down inside I think she did her best.

I wanna thank the drummer Andrew who is like 2 years younger than me. For teaching me how to play the drums and being such a gentleman. Eventhough he basically only plays the drum but he is usually the slave to me. HAHA. Poor Form 3 dude...haha

I wanna thank Daniel & Raiz oh...also Luqman for playing the piano, bass & guitar. Eventhough you guys get on my nerves sometimes when you tend to jam instead of practicing the POTO thing.


Mostly I wanna thank Mr Sri for being such an awesome teacher. Cos he let us ponteng in the computer lab eventhough he knew we used the POTO name as an excuse. Thanks Mr Sri. :) Oh well after last night no more ponteng-ing anymore. Eventhough we hardly ponteng but it was an esperiance.

Oh now Andrew doesnt need to listen to me and the ''Sisterhood'' on our Baking Life thingy. HAHA.


OH!! Here are some pictures from where I went out with Jian, Jay Han, Justin, Shaun & Chiu Pin. :)

Bumper car rides ROCKS!!
(i think)
*kiddy style ya'll*

Meet Jian :)

Meet My niece, Claudia
(she knows how to do tricks!!! xp)

Meet the ''Sisterhood''
(super noisy bunch of us trashing about a certain couple)
YEAH YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE MANWHORE AND WHORE!
:) Ka ching :)

&

Sea Yunn from Canada will always be a part of the Sisterhood :)
Andrew too=.=

Meet Joe Kern my guitarist for semi finals.
Thanks again :)


xoxo

tuning to: Always Be My Baby by David Cook