Hungry Nights With Sleepless Days

I have never really felt so confused and stuck in the shadows where I usually hide. The shadow I mean a literal shadow of peace in my mind was suppose to be my own saving spot. Somewhere I wouldnt need to bother to cry or shout or even scream and run around crazy withouth any interuption because I had never left that particular door open.


But why? Why now? How many wrong timings Ive gone through and not been bothered and now? I am bothered!!! Im BOTHERED????!!!!!!!! Kanana...


I had the most wonderful conversation last night & I felt like I left my door open. Its a real drag because damn....I really really wanted this! But...somehow..somehow...Im just stuck in the middle of everything. It kills me to know that its wrong TIMING. Whyyyyyy!!! WRONG TIMING!!!! I am stuck in a bittersweet moment. I was sooo freaking happy

LIKE JUMP UP FIREWORKS CANDYLAND RUNNING AROUND WITH A BAR OF HALF EATEN CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY FOUNTAINS AND CRAZY CNADY LAND LIKE WILLY WONKA GONE COOKOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!


Okay Im definately nuts. AND THEN!!!! Here comes the bummer. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????


Then tears just flow out tears just started flooding that open door & yes...Im gone...My Candyland just died and the clouds turn dark and black. I was going...going..Im gone... :(



tuning to: