brought to you by,

Yours Truly

You see inside she just wants a picket fence with fresh white paint on her house with the guy she loves in an unknown town. She sees herself waking up every morning knowing he is there by her side on the bed next to her. And as she watches him sleep she waits for him to open his eyes, waiting for that morning smile to greet her. When that happens, she knew that she had the man she loved.

She would plan her head on his chest and her hand around his waist, and he would smell her hair as they lay on the bed wondering what comes next. They would spend rest the rest of the day just doing things together, walking by the lake, having a meal together just to simply be next to each other. He would always hold her and plant kisses on her cheeks and she would always blush without saying anything. Their fingers will intertwine and they wouldn't even care about what others might think. She'd let him kiss her in public just because inside, she is secretly proud and happy just to have him in her life.

One day as she wakes up in her bed, she finds that the man of her life isn't there. Oh wait she forgot, he's a 100miles away. She stares at the empty sides of the bed, imaging the smile that she oh so wants to greet her but it wasn't the same. She walks by the lake to clear her head, but all she remembers is how much their memories were tainted by reality. Wherever she was, she was miserable as she keeps thinking about him she realizes that she is alone after all.

There she stands alone in her white picket fence. Waiting and waiting for her man.

tuning to: Comforting Sounds by Mew

Get Yourself A Jet For You Tonight, Yeah You Can Go Wherever You Like

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

HOMAIGOSH!

stop blogging Amanda!

Slow down woman!

"Okay I honestly dunno whats the deal. Wtf is wrong with me, issit because pmsing just turns you into a monster?" says Amanda in her usual balistic tone.

Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. Currently blasting some sexy tunes at home alone infront of the computer. Damn Marcus dont call my cell now can ANOT! Im listening to some stone songs =.=

Okay Im officially talking on my blog, like literally what I wanna say I write everything out instead of talking =.= What happens if our lives are like that? We JUST DONT TALK??!! *gasp*

Currently tuning to :

Feel so stoned RIGHT NOW! Im freaking raping the replay button. You should too yeah know. I constantly listen to this song when I feel superbly down and annoyed and just plain frustated. I dont feel like sleeping tonight, I just wanna wait for you to talk to me all night. Not possible though gotta work tomorrow. Haha! Boy you have no idea how I dance to this song, you might be surprised.

The best part about my blog is, you will never fully understand what Im trying to say on my blog. Because my thoughts are as random and the sentence and the words I write. Oh guess what? I found some awesome shit song outta nowhere.

I aint gonna share! Nah Ah! hahaha. Its my new escape song from now on, last resort will listen to Infected Mushrooms. I feel so stoned now honestly. Yeap you still dont understand what Im writing about right? Hmm its okay. Well I just miss you baby thats all, I miss you but I cant do anything about it cause youre busy being in another side of the world. Oh baby, you have no idea how I wish to talk to you and tell you everything. Cause you will listen to my frustations and my nonsense. You will laugh along with my nonsense and only with you can I be able to smile. But once again you're so far away baby. Youre not around me constantly eventhough I know we try so hard to spend some time together.

Sigh wish you were here darling, you'd share some awesome songs with me and tell me to not be so fucking upset over blardy nonsense. You'll always be there to gimme advises that you yourself dont make. Damn....hmm

You might now read this and think that Im talking about one person, but Im actually talking about two people. hmm...see? No one will ever understand this post cause I honestly have this way of not even understanding myself and twisting some of my stories. Damn, whats wrong with me?

Damn, just as I found some awesome song I turn to some emo song. Good job you just turn yourself depress Amanda. Imma go die in pain on my bed now because Im a Satellite Heart, Lost In The Dark.

tuning to: Satellite Heart by Anya Marina

Cause You Don't See

Chorus:

Cause you don't see,

What I see in me,

I'm a broken child,

In the perfect wild.

And when you see me smile,

I'm kinda broken,

Inside I'm slowly dying,

Inside my soul bleeding.

Tonight.

Verse:

Baby how I try to not text you,

Baby you dont know why I love you,

Cause you're in your world,

Stuck in this life,

Holding onto pieces of your missing life,

Prechorus:

Well you dont see me,

Well you dont hear me,

Im right by your side.

*repeat chorus*

Verse:

Cause I dont know where I stand in your heart,

Where am I suppose to be in your life?

Cause it seems so wrong,

To step into her shoes,

Holding onto memories that you can't forget,

Pre chorus:

Well you dont see me,

Well you dont hear me,

Im right by your side.

*chorus*

bridge:

Can't you hold me tight,

Say your goodbyes,

Take me for a flight, aite.

Can't you hear my cries,

Longing for your love,

Longing for your touch.

*repeat chorus*

HAPPY MERDEKA!

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA!

Its Merdeka, what are you about to do? Stay at home like me? Party outside like everybody else? Spend it with your family? Well Im feeling sick, so Im staying home dying in pain. Dont ask what pain.

I just cant stop thinking about the so call ''Happy Ending''. Why do I keep thinking about this?

You might see not this,

But I do,

I think of you night and day,

Wandering about one thing only,

You might think this is doubt,

I believe my instincts and my sense,

Everyday you hop around the world,

Everyday the thoughts of you in my mind lure,

The hours turn to days,

The days turn to months,

The months turn to years,

The years to to centuries,

You have no idea how I feel about this,

You have no idea how this feeling can pull you down,

You feed in me and you live in me,

You decide to do whatever you have to,

I never once stop you though my heart breaks inside.

I can never guess or console your thoughts,

The whole matter seems to be of who is the stongest,

Who is the more dependent one,

Who cares less,

The matter also includes how I am insanely crazy,

And how you're perfectly doing fine without me,

The whole matter even describes how clueless I am,

How twisted my words are till words and sentence,

Dont seem to make much sense to anyone.

Who can I console?

Who can I talk to?

My best friends are away,

My family cant relate,

Strangers dont know the updates,

Oh my lets just keep it straight,

The only way I can fend these frustations,

Are through continous conjured verbose writing,

You shall never understand the complexity,

The ambyss that stares into my soul,

The foundation of this broken heart,

My doubts are not doubts,

My doubts are merely fragments of the past reflecting upon us now,

My fragments are my past,

And my past is something painful.

Maybe Im asking too much?

Maybe Im just not making any sense.

Maybe youre tired of reading.

Then lets just end this fairytale shall we?

I Dont Know If I'd Make It, But Watch How Good I Fake It

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Its been ages...and when I mean ages, I MEAN AGE-GESS.....Yes please do detect the lameness and sarcasm in my post today.

Yes, today I shall talk about ''stuff'' on my blog just because I know no assholes would even read my blog. But ITS MY BLOG, I CANT WRITE WHATEVER I WANT TO, I CAN GO CRAZY, ILL LET IT ALL OUT! (currently tuning to: Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae. You can see the resemblance there)

Well, Im pretty depress now don't ask why Im planning to keep this secret to my happiness or maybe grave? Hmm... owh but wtf Imma talk about it anyways! ITS MY BLOG! Write Amanda! Write! (stupid..its Type not Write =.=)

So, today I will talk about one thing only. SHITTY FEELINGS! You know that kinda feeling whereby you feel REALLY EXTREMELY SHITTY! But you just cant do anything about it and you cant tell anyone but your really really close friends. Even so, they cant help you anyways, so youre practically at your doom. And to just FEEL this way and to continue on with your everyday life, you'd had to fake a smile and just pretend everything is okay.

You struggle everyday, you honestly just wanna go to bed cry it out and forget about it. But you'll wake up realising that it aint working anyways. You face your life the next day and everyone expects you to be this happy cheerful crazy person that you always are but you just seem to break down inside leading yourself to bad emotional mood swings that seems to get everyone taken aback.

Well, I dont know about you guys but thats how I feel. Sometimes, you feel like youre at the happiest spot you are then soon after you see the flaws in this spot of yours. Youre just miserable inside. I talked about this last time, the feeling you get when everything around it just colourful and youre just well...black and white. Its miserable, cause they expect you to be this glimmer and ball of sunshine which you naturally are. But sometimes every sun has a time to set and then slowly you realise the sun is actually lonely afterall.

I feel like that most of the blardy time, even when the sun has someone to love. In the end, you still feel alone and left out. You still feel like no one understands you.

THIS IS NOT AN EMO POST. (maybe) BUT IT SHALL NOT PULL EVERYONE DOWN! because its my blog lemme fend please. =.=

ps: I just feel like you don't need me at all, why are you even here?

tuning to: Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae