Amanda

Wanderlust

2011-12-24T07:26:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

I learned the word "Wanderlust" from Joanna. Tumblr language, and I notice how much I feel for this feeling. How much I longed for an escape to a place that I can just run away and be free.

I want to do this. For myself.

Its what I wanted to do this for a long time. I longed for this in many years & I finally made it to the day that I get to go to a vacation alone.

I need to get away from my parents. Cause as much as I love them. I am fucking annoyed of em.

I need to pretend to be someone else. Be a tourist and be inspired to write.

But....I met someone recently. Everything was alright until I met him, he came into my life full of joy and effortless moments. Being with him was effortless, it wasnt forced and being planned.

Maha told me the best things come to NOT HAVING A PLAN. And apparently he is right.

I actually found something that I dont need to work on, I dont need to struggle with to get into a happy moment. Its just us.

His scent still on me. Everywhere I go, I see him around in my life revolving like a shadow.

Which is also bad. I had been alone for far too long, I depend on baby Joanna so much that I didnt realize that living without her is so important yes. But now that I found him, when he came into my life I realize that he is already part of my daily routine. Which is weird.

Which is bad again.

Now I cant leave for my vacation in peace. Cause part of me is in wanderlust and the other part tells me I cant leave him here, cause I wanna be by his side. Spending time with him.

Yes. Im worried. What happens when Im gone? Will anything change? Will his love for me fiddle away just as easily as how he fell for me?

Maybe

2011-12-19T11:14:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

I've been talking to Joanna, and what really hit me was when she said that maybe I should just back off and leave before I get hurt.

Its so easy to get hurt by something you know would hurt you eventually. So yeah. I guess she is right. Maybe its cause.

I AM NOT FUCKING BULLETPROOF.

I actually really fell for this shit. Like okay lets not call it shit because its one of the happiest things I had this year. Like exteremely happy in the sense that I can just smile everyday waking up happy and not intending to be NOT SAD.

Getting phone calls and text that would make you smile the whole entire day without fail.

Seeing the person you love just look at you like you're the only thing he sees.

So many things that I would he does for you that would mean the world to you.

Little things that didnt really mattered seem to huge.

The drive you guys have when you are together.

The effortless talks and acts you have when youre together.

Yeah. But then again. :) as much as I love you....

hmm....yeah... :?

FUCK THIS SHIT! IM IN LOVE.

Time Stands Still

2011-12-19T10:04:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly.

Its been awhile since I actually blogged. Since I actually wrote about something. Because time has hardly stood still for me recently.

I met someone.

It was an experience that I wondered, what if it is a cycle again? I had enough jinx for a year now. Do I really want to risk this again? All those broken promises. How can I love when I am afraid to fall?

Maybe by letting your guard down you'd think that everything would be okay, because all we needed was a leap of faith. A leap of faith that might've just backfire on you anytime and hit you hard enough that you'd want to die.

I am afraid.

Its true.

I can never deny that because what I went through before was so horrible that the thought of just ending a life would seem so effortless. But what happened was, a single glimpse couldve brought so much to you as to where you fall. One step. I guess. Made it all happen. I have a very good friend by my side that would be by my side no matter what. I would love her for a thousand years and more.

Nothing has ever compared to this friendship, because she was so important that I could give my life to her. Thats how much I trust her. However, I am selfish enough to feel that it isnt enough.

I met you.

You were liken to a risk. A risk that I wasnt willing to take, as I knew the last time I took the risk and let this guard down I would just fall again. Fall into torns and an emotional roller coaster. Its true when you say "How can you love? When youre afraid to even fall?"

Truth is, isnt it just easier to stay alone? So that no one can hurt you? So that no one can know your weakness and use it against you? But you showed me, sometimes its okay to take that risk. Eventhough I have to be honest, I am always afraid as much as I am with you, so as long I am being myself and I let my guard down. However, fear has constantly keep me reminded to be keeping a distant from you. FEAR.

Fear.

What is fear? Some say its a weakness, some say its a warning, some says when you sense fear in you. Its liken to an alarm, telling you that you are in trouble or you should stay away.

Do I feel fear? Yes.

You dont need to understand what I am writing about, these are deep thoughts. As usual, writing verbosely would be the perfect way to express without telling too much of what your main point might be.

Feelings for someone may develop quickly as conversation strikes, common interest are shared, intriguing topics that pulls two of you together. And then it comes to one point. UNDERSTANDING.

I had always been this person that easily let someone into my life because I was THAT friendly and that warm and fuzzy. But recently this year I've met with so many that has opened my eyes to how some can be such a snake. Ironic how your parents taught you while you grow up to not trust someone so easily. The common saying " Dont Simply Talk To Strangers".

But thats how you one thing leads to another right. You start off with a stranger.

With looking at the person as just a blank paper, you get to know this person by talking to them and slowly this blank paper would be filled with info that you may know and describe of the person.

What am I talking about? No you wont understand.

Its just that I feel like crying now. And telling myself. Maybe. I should just give up. Eventhough I would love you for a thousand years. Love you for a thousand more. I am still afraid. My heart is broken enough for me to realize I dont want it broken anymore.

tuning to:

Maybe I Found Something I Want To Do

2011-12-14T11:54:00.000-08:00

Another World, Another Language

2011-12-02T11:00:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

I've been hooked to Switched at Birth pretty hard on lately. Reason being cause the main plot of the story is how two girls lives have been switched and one turned deaf. The deaf girl named Daphne was suppose to a rich girl named Bay. And Daphne has a deaf friend named Emmet.

Now the whole story revolves around these two girls, but I started getting really interested when a love between deaf boy Emmet and hearing Bay started to spark up. Seeing how they pull together two different worlds is amazing.

You know you might know this but deaf people may understand English in sign and reading but if they could hear, I mean if they would have gotten cochlea implants and would be able to hear. They wont understand what youre saying, because its a new found language to them.

So reading signs is one thing, they would have to learn how to read your lips. I would cry whenever I see Emmet trying to explain to Bay what he was talking about. And the best part? Bay wouldnt mind figuring out what he was saying, because she actually loves learning what Emmet teaches her.

This. Is what I truly want to experience. Love.

Unconditional love.

I was always fond of the deaf. Fascinated by their ways of living, I once saw a group actually a really big group of deaf people talking to each other. In the room of noisy people in their restaurant, they were the biggest but most silent group of place. Whats more interesting is that they were using sign to communicate and it was interesting. Its rude to stare but I couldnt help but to watch and observe.

I've always been interested in the deaf.

I've always researched about why deaf people usually come off mute. Because they cant hear themselves. Its the same if we put on our headphones and blast real loud and start singing along with the music, even any good singer would go off tune if you record yourself.

But these beings are different. They're incredible. Beautiful. Because they know of a world that is so amazing, that it makes you wander whats so great about us that could speak and hear.

tuning to: Comforting Sound by Mew

2011-12-02T02:06:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

My Lambo has been used for really unproductive reasons. Like these following nonsense.

My cousin Jess and I.

Thats me and Andrew. After wrapping up our recordings for some covers.

And people thought I LOOK GOOD WITH BANGS??!!

yeah.right.

Obsessions

2011-11-27T05:30:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

I've been obsessed. With what you may ask?

Fashion. Music. Art.

What happens when everything comes together? I've been introduced to Travis Shields, he's an amazing photographer, but not just any photographer, a fashion photographer. He was able to capture so many amazing shots with so many amazing people. From the stars of Glee to True Blood to Teen Wolf to Vampire Diaries and many more. What more can you ask? A delicious variety of all the hot rising stars in one place. One man. One vision.

I turned crazy just now editing so many of my shots by Joanna, my bestfriend whos indie style photography didnt apply for my wild and Travis Shield inspired kind of shots. It was crazy, but I loved it. Therefore, thanking her so much for everything she has done for me.

I've grown for a love and obsession towards a band called KIDS OF 88. And when Travis Shield was discovered, I was even more inspired to do something. One of his most captivating work was this.

It featured Juno Temple and Emma Roberts. Juno with the inspire True Blood vampire tears and Emma with the Harry Potter inspired unicorn tears.

Now if you dont know what those in their mouth represents. Its smoke. very artistic actually.

Now I told you I've also been obsessed with Kids Of 88 these days. And so Yeah! You guessed it, just look at this photo. I'm already a fan. It was inspired by their album cover I guess. Check it out below!
This is their album cover for their album. I so far sorta duplicated the album cover but its not perfect, haha.
I was also inspired by Travis Shield so most of the editing work I did was based on em.

No idea if it worked but check out the rest and compare it with his work.

Now some may not know what it mean by "The Valley" its also based on another song called The Valley by Eisley. Theyre amazing and I absolutely fell for this song. Real nice. Introduced by Joanna.

And below, are Tyler Shields work of art.

Heather Morris everyone!

If youre a fan of Glee and Vampire Diaries you'd know its a dream come true.

Lindsay Lohan and my TYLER!! haha

Juno Temple and Emma Roberts

So yeah these are the few I really love. Theres more, but yeah. Just a lil tease.

For more of Travis Shield just go to

www.travisshieds.com

tuning to: My House by Kids of 88

The One That Got Away

2011-11-24T17:46:00.000-08:00

brought to by,

Yours Truly

Sometimes things that you may find oh so precious to you, may turn your back on you because honestly, they dont give a crap about you as much as you do about them.

But the person that I truly trust upon was Joanna. Shes been there throughout every ups and down most of my life, which I am solely thankful for. Over the years, we both felt that we depended on each other. Truth is, I depended on her most of the time, because she was the only one that I can fully trust my life with. Others that also have been there was Marcus, whom I seriously hang out too much with! haha.

Im turning into a guy just by hanging out with Marcus too often!

But yes, he was also there to listen and cheer me up during my downs and be nonsensical during my ups. I've been grateful, cause he has grown to be one of my true friends.

I would also wanna thank Damien! Even though we've been so busy with our lives lately, we still managed to sustain our friendship for oh so many years. You have no idea how much I missed him! Our times we spent together we're just so meaningful that it was also so effortless. I haven't been hanging out with for awhile, cause usually I am the one initiating an invite for movies and stuff like that.

A day before his birthday, he offered to watch a movie. Which was honestly surprising, and I really appreciated it. The busy guy that he is, I knew that he missed me as much I miss him. hee hee....

Okay...sounds funny but yeah....

Just been so grateful lately eventhough I was extremely absorb with so many things lately. But knowing that I have these best friends behind me to support me and hold me by the arm when I need them to, proves to me clearly that IF ANYTHING FUCKING HAPPENS TO THEM I'D DIE

AND IF ANYBODY TRIES TO FUCKING HURT THEM! ILL KILL EM! AND BACK THEM UP NO MATTER WHAT! suck on that asshole. your loss for being such a dickhead.

ps: A new cover will be coming soon next week! :)

tuning to: The One That Got Away by Katy Perry

HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MONTH

2011-11-12T19:52:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

my epic failed photoshop.

My ultimate messed up hair.

My dance flashmob with the major four

Me, Jaz, Sharon and May

Heading to watch jayslee with Shauna and Nick

Halloween

Kickin it Old School!

Amanda, Jem and May

Stop Blogging

2011-10-23T15:52:00.000-07:00

You heard me. Stop blogging if your English is so perfectly screwed that you continue on shamlessly blogging! really? okay I'm not saying my english is legid and all but come on the grammar is like
HORROR!!!

I honestly think that blogger these days are trying too hard to gain popularity instead of actually having a good content in their writing.

isn't blogging about writing freely and expression of your soul being that it just releases your inner artistry? no? well maybe it's just me.

THESE PAST WEEK;

I joined some talent search competition and gained much experience to the point where it wasn't even about winning. However, it was remarkable how music brought so many people together.

Though I notice a good voice merely enough to enter the shortlist, it strucked me that I didn't like these kinda reality tv shit. Its bullshit honestly because some of the judges are just, well, I don't even know if they deserve to judge. Hence, it came to a point that I realize they weren't looking for a good singer.

They were looking for a star.

Admist of doing all these, I met so many amazing talented people. Met some nonsense party people aswell but no bad intentions implanted in em.

people never understood my point of views sometimes. But in under that cover of bimboness and craziness honestly, lies someone else.It's whether if you are willing to find em.

They Say

2011-09-22T06:40:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

She runs and runs and runs, grasping upon something in the air as if she is holding a kite. She remembers how he use to say, "Fly a kite, not play a kite". Those words ring bells in her head, those haunting memories came by so sweetly when they used to held hands. She then turns back and look, and she sees an empty valley. She lets go of the invisible kite and stop. This time really looking behind her, she stares at the empty valley. Wandering, why issit that the valley is dry and dull? Why issit the dirt turns to dust? Why issit the sun does not shine upon this place yet the breeze is so spiteful and shy.

She closes her eyes and opens them again. She then stares into the mirror and finally understand , that empty valley is her. As she grasps upon the invisible kite,she was actually grasping onto a vain memory of hope and happiness that was lost when he walked out of her life.

She broke down and cried, tears seem to stream down, but the dry grounds quickly absorb those tears still leaving cracks on the dry dirt ground. No matter how hard she tries to cry it out, to feel better. Her scars remain the same, as the ground. Unable to heal, unable to forget, unable to take revenge.

How much does she love, till she gets hurt. How much does she suffer, to gain disapointment. How much care did she put into this, to end up of a disappearance of the one she loves. She turned over the side of her bed, and found a pair of big scissors for cutting cloth. Grabbed it with her shaking hands she stares at them, like they were giving her an answer. She wiped away her tears onto her pillow. Lay down on her bed again, and slowly....just slowly....took the scissors and said, " You took my heart away, and ripped it into fine pieces, without explanation you left, so without an explanantion, I shall leave aswell".

Her mother came into the room to wake her up, only to find her daughter laying cold and bloody on the bed. Tears still stream on her eyes. But a smile was upon her face as she leave this wild.

Cause Shes Got Pretty Eyes

2011-09-21T21:43:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

A guy asked me for a chance. He is a really good guy, even my classmate says so.

But I said no. My classmate asked me, WHYYY!??

I told her that simply I just see him as friend. Which is true, but also because lately theres someone else in the picture aswell.

I have a ghost in my life, he disappear from my life without an explanation. For two weeks or was it more? He went missing, promising me a good explanation to his disappearance. I waited, and waited, and pondered. Trying to get to him, but somehow he just runs away and continues to disappear. I thought to myself, Im not waiting anymore, so why are you running?

I lost my hope and then someone else comes along to tell me everything is okay. That he wouldnt do what you did to me. But how issit that you just creep into me and somehow tell me that I should still wait for you. urgh.

2 Weeks

2011-09-17T18:38:00.000-07:00

It's been so long, where is that so called "explanation"?! that so called I will get to you soon, that so called I will meet you soon, that so called I'll call you soon?

Was it just a lie?

Are you running away from me cause you're bored of me?

Are you running away because you have certain issues? or was THAT also a lie.

Are you dissapearing because you found someone else that you get laid on?

Are you running away because you just ran back to your ex?

Are you even HAVING A PROBLEM!?

Is this who you really are? Manipulative, selfish, player?

Have you been playing me from the start?

Have you ever been true to me?

Am I your rebound?

Am I just a game to you?

Do you even care about me like you said you did?

These are the questions running through my head for the past two weeks that you went missing. Deep inside I'm defending you, saying that maybe you're in some deep shit. but part of me knows that you just don't want me anymore that you just don't care anymore. so why should I care? I don't even know myself.

it would be stupid to say that I dont care cause it's hard, to have someone that you're in love with disappear without any trace or what sort living you broken, dismented, fooled.

Who are you? more importantly Are You Alright? Because I try so hard to keep myself busy to not think of you.

holding onto a hope that you'd come back. Because everywhere I look somehow your shadows and your memories of us just come by. WTF. I hate myself. more importantly, I hate feeling this way.



tuning to: The Fear by Lily Allen


I Feel Like Dancing Tonight

2011-09-14T10:00:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

All Time Low

Shorty said she wants to run away,
says I look like a boy she used to date (Ha!).
Took me by the hand and pulled me to the stairs,
(I’m NOT interested, girl).

Put her tongue all up in my ear, (Gross!)
Almost made me spill my beer, (Oh Shit!)
She’s up and ready to go, but I don’t care.
(Pssh, whatever!)
Coz I’m in the zone,
turn off my phone, I've got my own agenda.

I feel like dancin' tonight,
I’m gonna party like it’s my civil right,
(everybody get kinda awesome).
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare,
because I feel like dancin' tonight.

[Alex laughing]
Everybody getting kind of crunk,
I think some dude just grabbed my junk, (Woah!)
Now I know how Ke$ha must be feelin’,
(Like.. what if we’re the aliens?)
Bros try to turn me upside down.
I put a keg tap to my mouth,
but that’s okay, I’m dancin’ on the ceiling.

Coz I’ve got the groove,
I’ll bust a move; just try and stop me.

I feel like dancin' tonight,
I’m gonna party like it’s my civil right,
(everybody get kinda awesome).
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare,
because I feel like dancing tonight.

Somebody call the police, (Woo-oooh)
I think they’re coming to get me,they said:
“You’ve got the right to remain on the dance floor,
so show us what you got 'cause you know that you got more.

I feel like dancin' tonight,
I came to party like it’s my civil right,
(everybody get kinda awesome).
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare, (Woah!)
'cause I feel like dancing tonight.

Oh, one more time,

I feel like dancin' tonight,
(I feel like dancin'…)
I’m gonna party like it’s my civil right, (Woooah)
It doesn’t matter where, I don’t care if people stare,
'cause I feel like dancin' tonight (Oh, oh, oooh!)
I feel like dancin' tonight.
[Alex laughing]

THE END!

Jaz dyed her hair blue! Aquamarine!! :)

So How Could I Say No?

2011-09-14T09:46:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Hello pretty mommah -Johny Bravo-

Omgosh, its 1am, what in the world is wrong with me? I have to be up at 8am tomorrow! =.=

It was suppose. SUPPOSE TO BE MY BREAK tomorrow, but I apparently I am on the creative team in my advertising class to redesign? draw? I dunno people. I sorta kinda finished my research homework, No my research is not done but I am well 20% on the way? Hmm

Im not tired somehow, though my original plan was to watch Vampire Diaries! EPIC PHAIL!

I found some lady having some sex phone conversation in the toilet just now. Well actually I didnt found her, Cheryl did. But gosh, I couldnt stop ease dropping aswell! buahaha.

Today was honestly a very cold and moody day, it was raining! Everyone was getting soaked and annoyed and moody. The day is JUST NOT GOOD, and for the fact that I continously feel cold is NOT a good thing people. Its even freezing without the fan! Anyways people, its late sleep tight, dont let the beg bugs bite. Oh wait, most of the people are already asleep. Hmm Well then SUGAR DREAMS! :)

ps: I just cant stop staring into your eyes <3

tuning to: I feel like dancing tonight by All Time Low.

Tapping Peoples Shoulder.

2011-09-13T19:25:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Good morning people! Im actually in English Composition class right now....which I find really hilarious as I dont exactly feel like writing about a thesis statement. NOW.

I feel more like typing here and just randomly speaking my mind out for nuts. Yes. Nuts. Im bored ignore this randomness. KIMI STOP LOOKING ON MY SCREEN! BUAHAHAHA.

Kimi is so tempted to look at whatever shit Im actually typing onto my blog. WOW! My blog has the funniest nonsense you can find, trust me. Im actually worried these days for certain stuff, my assignments, projects and also my performance in the near future for a prom. Which up until now I havent had any sort of information at all about the details of the event. Well, I still dont know what I wanna perform to be perfectly honest. Its likes so stressful not to have any info on this, not even knowing any confirmation towards the matter.

YAY! Imma die in thesis statement or apparently FUNNEL INTRODUCTION. Dont ask me what is funnel introduction. GO GOOGLE. MADDAHAI. =.=

Im so excited though cause if I actually do perform for the prom I get to hang with my good friend. Angeline.

This is Angeline, shes my childhood friend, church member and our birthdays are just a day difference. Oh how we click so well, for what? A decade? Haha. I was excited and she was excited aswell, I hope that night would be an escape :) What the hell should I sing honestly!?
Okay perfectly honest now, Im so tired and I cant believe Im actually sitting here blogging instead of listening to this lecture. English Lecture, please do me good and not kill me. Im cold and annoyed and tired. DEAL. :) TEE HEE. Have to help Yip Chun and Vivian out for their assignments later. Tons of nonsense.

Breezy Dance

2011-09-13T17:10:00.000-07:00

I actually looked out for bikes now, which is so ridiculous. I try not to look because I knew my decisions are always based on final assumptions. I've made my decision to help myself out, to give you your time and space and to also give me the space to grow and learn how to overcome this fear of losing and fear of being hurt.

it's okay now, I'm slowly adapting to your habits. I'm accepting the fact that you're just like this, and that it shouldn't be a big of a deal. obviously I'm upset just a little but its okay really. it's okay. I'm doing fine.

Because instead of constantly moping and waiting around I realize that I don't need to do all these. I don't need to call or text you because clearly you dont want to have any sort of contact at all. so it's fine that maybe you have your own shit going on and you have your own issues or maybe you decided to venture upon some other girl.

Who am I right? :)

No I'm not being sarcastic just the mere honest truth that I honestly don't bother waiting anymore and I dont bother circling you around my life. I'll wait but not how I used to wait, just so until you decide to appear I'd be glad to say hi to you knowing that youre safe and hopefully giving me the explanation I deserve. bless you bi.

I Actually Fell For You

2011-09-12T17:00:00.000-07:00

I had never admitted this but I actually fell for you. It was so hard for me to say "I love you" because deep down inside I'm thinking, you will leave me soon.

and perhaps my assumption is right anyways,
I actually found information about your past relationship,
No I'm not a stalker but I'm a pretty good one when I need to be babe,
I have a feeling that he'll read this,
I knew that he will find what I'm writing will be about him.

I honestly don't know you well enough,
and for the mere fact that you don't wanna share,
Lead me to find out otherwise,
Some false light has occur,
apparently you cheated, lie, hurt, and force in your past relationship,
I honestly don't choose to believe,
but then again who am I to you?

Up until now you haven't gave me an explanation,
could you blame me for doubting you?
For being afraid? for finding out things that may seem so real to me no matter how hard I try not to believe them?

I wanted an explanation but it's been almost a week,
where the fuck are you?
no calls, no text, no nothing.
I gave up trying to contact you because clearly,
You don't even Wanna talk or explain.

which one are lies? which one are truth?
I can never tell.
but I will only open my arms for you,
when you make the move.

I was the dude in almost every relationship,
I certainly dunwana be a lost puppy following you around,
I fell for you,
but it seems that it didn't matter to you anyways.

How I Love Mummy (sometimes)

2011-09-12T08:15:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

As the post say so, YES sometimes I just love my mum cause she actually spends real quality time FOR me. Awww super love babies, super love.

ITS AMANDA BITCH!

I'm back on track, no more sad moppy Amanda. Today I realized how long it has ACTUALLY been since I last have a decent POST! I mean if you actually read my blog last time, it will be FILLED! and when I say filled I mean FILLED! WITH FUCKING AWESOME GAZILLIONS PHOTOS. And as I went through my photos I notice how many pictures I took, and I havent been able to post it anywhere. So owh why not?

Last Saturday, I had the best time in like.....such a long time. You can call this retail theraphy all you want! But I call this, relaxation baby. I havent been shopping AT ALL! And when mummy and I decided to head down to KL and shop around Bukit Bintang and Pavillion for the first time after like AGES! We had the best mother daughther quality time in years. So aside from shopping, my mum and I found time to actually bond just the two of us. Minus my dad because we didnt wanna wait around for his leg to ''heal'' and head home early because he was tired. Old people. tee hee

So now....as usual, from my usual posting format. (I didnt know I have a format but owh well) Here are some eye soaring....painfully...awesomely....acclaimed CAMWHORE QUEEN SKILLS.....

BRACE YOURSELF!

ITS ME!

This was actually after the shopping where we went to Hock Lee Village? Issit called that? Haha

I waited as my mum went to get some awesome yums!

So yeah I actually got this cool hoodie from of course....FOREVER21

Im just such a Forever 21 bitch! Im a Cotton On bitch aswell. haha.

The guy at the counter was actually such a dick (Cotton On Pavvi). He thinks I dont know anything or whatever product that comes to Cotton On, I mean hello? I actually like literally TOLD HIM OFF! Infront of my mum (which up till now I cant believe I said this infront of my mum)

" Excuse me, but I'm a Cotton On Bitch. I should know"

My mum didnt say anything, infact I think she was proud that I stood up for myself to that dickhole! BET HE IS ZE GHAY! Buahahah

Do I look Korean?

"No mummy, I did not notice your absence. I miss you though"

I feel for this top and shorts. I got the shorts which is sooo

♥

Check it out! Im sparkly like Edward Cullen!

You can call me Bella now :) ♥

blah blah blah.

AND YOU THOUGHT THE CAMWHORING WILL END? HELL TO THE NO (tuning to: Hell To The No by Mercedes from Glee)

Omma's wantan mee soup is yums♥

OMMA!!! ♥

I couldnt eat! haha. These days my appetite is being a bitch having moodswings.

Hungry at odd hours, Full at odd hours aswell.

BITCH!

So after the shopping and makan, WE FINALLY WENT HOME! YAY! The jam in KL IS THE MOST FUCKTARD JAM I'VE BEEN IN SINCE MY TRIP TO BANGKOK!

owh wow you should really be in Bangkok and check out the shopping there! Its the heavens of shopping

♥ But the jam is like a bitch aswell!

So I went home and look what ring I found?!! no! Not the one with the cute thingy on top

The one on my right engagement finger! Aww a gift from Aaron my lovely ex.

My mum was like:

" Youre only wearing it after 3years?! why didnt you wear it earlier!? sho nice"

" Well mummy, you didnt like him anyway"

Come to think of it, she never likes any of my exes until the very end when everything ends. Buahahhaaha.

So here is Marcus.

He actually teman me this morning and watched me do my scamps for advertising class.

AND THEN HE TOLD ME!

you shouldn't be in MASS COMM!!

these drawings are me haha. using fairytales and concept of my likes and hobbies.

This character is repeatedly used because it represents me. :)

♥

Yes I drew all of it and I ♥ all of it buahaha

the end

(this is red riding hood btw)

ps: I officially let go

tuning to: Love Me by Justin Bieber

mobile me please

2011-09-08T05:58:00.000-07:00

I'm actually blogging from my itouch damn. haha. I feel so happy now that I don't need to log into blogger through my comp.

my mobile iPod is coming in extra handy for blogging next time. though I cant actually post up my pictures.

Honestly I dont understand why Im waiting for so freaking long for him when I can just go home by now. This inconsistency is killing me seriously. What in the world is going on?

tuning to; Try by Asher Brooks

The Storm

2011-09-07T05:51:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Theres a storm coming. Oh Im not talking about the weather sweethearts. Im talking about the person inside me that has been trapped and holded back inside for FAR TOO LONG. Today I experience being dominating, and being well in power again.

Before this, I was just the usual Amanda that takes in whatever crap that people say and just be nice to others without saying ''NO''. I will never fight back and stand up for what I stand for and for what I wanna say. I will just well, follow and not take charge and care about others more than how people would care about me.

Well no more Ms. Nice Amanda, my storm is coming, I can hear my bitchy music playing. The music is on. The game is on, Im ready to bring out my guns. Question is Are You Ready for it? Cause you wont know what to expect baby. Today, as I realise how much I just continously and blindly follow whatever '' S'' says. I notice that I cant be this bitch anymore, Im not your bitch. I will STAND UP and show you that YOU CANT CONTROL ME ANYMORE. You wont be the one playing games and toying me around anymore.

I WILL TAKE CHARGE NOW. I WILL BE IN CONTROL NOW. Im sick of your games. Its time for the other version of Amanda to emerge. The dominating, smart, bitchy, ruthless Amanda. No more " Okay I will follow whatever you say". You mess with the wrong sister.

tuning to: Do It Like A Dude by Jessie J

If I Die Young

2011-09-04T22:27:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

NO! You do not bury me in satin and lay me down on a bed of roses!

So my version of if I die young, hmm. This has been a very constant thought eversince I was in primary. I always thought to myself, who would cry for me? Who would laugh at me? Who would be bitching? Who would be happy? Who would

Well, Well,Well

2011-09-04T22:16:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Well here you go again,
Running away from all the sorrows you clinged to,
Holding onto something that you cant seem to catch,
Gasping in air that seems to be killing you,
Well maybe youd think he would feel it too,
maybe its just another perfect getaway,
As memories just shatter you slowly fall apart.

In the voyage of the ride,
You tend to lost yourself on the carousel,
Youre half way carassing your soul,
Holding upon fine pieces of dust,
Captivated by the sands of time,
Lost in amidst of pleasure,
Found in the middle of nowhere,
But stayed right there.

You found a home honey,
Just stay there,
Just stay there,
Even when youre falling apart.

Owh You Know What This Is?

2011-09-04T18:18:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Morning lovettes! Im honestly lack of sleep, dying from sleeping at 3am cause was busy talking to Angeline. Damn, owh wait you dont know who is Angeline. Nevermind. Damn its so hot in Starbucks, but its not burning at least? Its just really glaring, I wish I can just shut the sun down. I know right the nonsense that I tend to imagine.

Early at 8am, I reached Starbucks infront of my college to finish up my stupid homework. Yes homework sounded so highshool outta nowhere. Damn I just waved at my junior but the guy infront of me thought I was waving at him. The awkward moment, and i just notice that I have the tendecy to rap without even trying to rap. Yes Im typing blindly without even looking at the freaking screen check out the skills people. Yes check it out, zomgosh. Im the queen of this shits man.

Why am I blogging and not even doing my work? I honestly just gave up because its last minute job and yo may ask then why do it last minute? Because I didnt know!!! I was on a fucking holiday mood bitches! DEAL!

rappi

How much I miss spending time in college and having some quality time with my friends and with Marcus including Joanna :( I miss them so so much. Talking on the cell with them last night was even worst. The nostalgic feeling of how frustated and longing you feel for their company. Damn, Im such a mess, damn theres this girl that looks so hot in a baju kurung. And I feel like wearing one right now haha.

Ridiculous as it sounds, this is a pointless post Im just not talking again and Im currently rapping inside my brin. Listening to Skylar Grey and drowning myself in blogging.Damn, I cant believe I just sang out loud. Okay I seriously needa stop. Computer overheating. Damn, HERE I GO.!!!

CHAWS!

tuning to: Invisible by Skylar Grey

HEY BABY!

2011-09-01T08:56:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Rejections and rejections and rejections buahaha. BENSERN YOU ARE NUTS! Well we are using economics for relationship talks o.o I love Barney Stinsons now for giving girls a point of view of how guys can be a douche haha. Obviously Bensern has really bad point of views.

GUYS VS GIRLS POINT OF VIEW

This is an interesting debate. Still continueing on Skype with this debate after 1hour.

WOW. This is really fun. No for real. No joke no sarcasm hahaha.

Tell The MotherBroke Brothers Be Quiet

2011-09-01T07:03:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

So today as I woke up half stoned, I had breakfast with my family. It was definately an awesome meal. Headed to work straight afterthat to find myself in major menstrual pain. Damn people, when you have menstrual pains you cant even move or stand without feeling a knife stabbing and scraping your insides. Ladies should know how annoying and frustating this feels.

THANK GOD!!!

MAH BOSS LEMME HOME EARLY YAY!

Hey I aint faking or tripping here okay I am in serious pain. Even being back home my mum was tripping over this whole shit. Heres the deal, I have a family trait that seems to have lack of blood PLUS the period its like x2 of losing blood. Kinda like instant vampire syndrome. So I was back home, took so meds and try heading back to sleep but i just couldnt I kept staring at my phone. As messages come in I kept getting disappointments over and over.

My night is somehow awesome now anyways, having the time of my life skyping with Bensern eventhough we are doing different things now. I miss him buahahaha. But I really really need to be distracted yay! Had the most disgusting dinner and supper. Cant eat much these days, feel like puking RIGHT THIS INSTANT. But honestly the night is still young...right? hahaha. I think I shall go and stone with my songs now :)

tuning to: Whatsit by Anya Marina

2011-08-31T20:17:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

You see inside she just wants a picket fence with fresh white paint on her house with the guy she loves in an unknown town. She sees herself waking up every morning knowing he is there by her side on the bed next to her. And as she watches him sleep she waits for him to open his eyes, waiting for that morning smile to greet her. When that happens, she knew that she had the man she loved.

She would plan her head on his chest and her hand around his waist, and he would smell her hair as they lay on the bed wondering what comes next. They would spend rest the rest of the day just doing things together, walking by the lake, having a meal together just to simply be next to each other. He would always hold her and plant kisses on her cheeks and she would always blush without saying anything. Their fingers will intertwine and they wouldn't even care about what others might think. She'd let him kiss her in public just because inside, she is secretly proud and happy just to have him in her life.

One day as she wakes up in her bed, she finds that the man of her life isn't there. Oh wait she forgot, he's a 100miles away. She stares at the empty sides of the bed, imaging the smile that she oh so wants to greet her but it wasn't the same. She walks by the lake to clear her head, but all she remembers is how much their memories were tainted by reality. Wherever she was, she was miserable as she keeps thinking about him she realizes that she is alone after all.

There she stands alone in her white picket fence. Waiting and waiting for her man.

tuning to: Comforting Sounds by Mew

Get Yourself A Jet For You Tonight, Yeah You Can Go Wherever You Like

2011-08-31T06:35:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

HOMAIGOSH!

stop blogging Amanda!

Slow down woman!

"Okay I honestly dunno whats the deal. Wtf is wrong with me, issit because pmsing just turns you into a monster?" says Amanda in her usual balistic tone.

Hello everyone, this is your captain speaking. Currently blasting some sexy tunes at home alone infront of the computer. Damn Marcus dont call my cell now can ANOT! Im listening to some stone songs =.=

Okay Im officially talking on my blog, like literally what I wanna say I write everything out instead of talking =.= What happens if our lives are like that? We JUST DONT TALK??!! *gasp*

Currently tuning to :

Feel so stoned RIGHT NOW! Im freaking raping the replay button. You should too yeah know. I constantly listen to this song when I feel superbly down and annoyed and just plain frustated. I dont feel like sleeping tonight, I just wanna wait for you to talk to me all night. Not possible though gotta work tomorrow. Haha! Boy you have no idea how I dance to this song, you might be surprised.

The best part about my blog is, you will never fully understand what Im trying to say on my blog. Because my thoughts are as random and the sentence and the words I write. Oh guess what? I found some awesome shit song outta nowhere.

I aint gonna share! Nah Ah! hahaha. Its my new escape song from now on, last resort will listen to Infected Mushrooms. I feel so stoned now honestly. Yeap you still dont understand what Im writing about right? Hmm its okay. Well I just miss you baby thats all, I miss you but I cant do anything about it cause youre busy being in another side of the world. Oh baby, you have no idea how I wish to talk to you and tell you everything. Cause you will listen to my frustations and my nonsense. You will laugh along with my nonsense and only with you can I be able to smile. But once again you're so far away baby. Youre not around me constantly eventhough I know we try so hard to spend some time together.

Sigh wish you were here darling, you'd share some awesome songs with me and tell me to not be so fucking upset over blardy nonsense. You'll always be there to gimme advises that you yourself dont make. Damn....hmm

You might now read this and think that Im talking about one person, but Im actually talking about two people. hmm...see? No one will ever understand this post cause I honestly have this way of not even understanding myself and twisting some of my stories. Damn, whats wrong with me?

Damn, just as I found some awesome song I turn to some emo song. Good job you just turn yourself depress Amanda. Imma go die in pain on my bed now because Im a Satellite Heart, Lost In The Dark.

tuning to: Satellite Heart by Anya Marina

Cause You Don't See

2011-08-31T05:47:00.000-07:00

Chorus:

Cause you don't see,

What I see in me,

I'm a broken child,

In the perfect wild.

And when you see me smile,

I'm kinda broken,

Inside I'm slowly dying,

Inside my soul bleeding.

Tonight.

Verse:

Baby how I try to not text you,

Baby you dont know why I love you,

Cause you're in your world,

Stuck in this life,

Holding onto pieces of your missing life,

Prechorus:

Well you dont see me,

Well you dont hear me,

Im right by your side.

*repeat chorus*

Verse:

Cause I dont know where I stand in your heart,

Where am I suppose to be in your life?

Cause it seems so wrong,

To step into her shoes,

Holding onto memories that you can't forget,

Pre chorus:

Well you dont see me,

Well you dont hear me,

Im right by your side.

*chorus*

bridge:

Can't you hold me tight,

Say your goodbyes,

Take me for a flight, aite.

Can't you hear my cries,

Longing for your love,

Longing for your touch.

*repeat chorus*

HAPPY MERDEKA!

2011-08-31T00:27:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

SELAMAT HARI MERDEKA!

Its Merdeka, what are you about to do? Stay at home like me? Party outside like everybody else? Spend it with your family? Well Im feeling sick, so Im staying home dying in pain. Dont ask what pain.

I just cant stop thinking about the so call ''Happy Ending''. Why do I keep thinking about this?

You might see not this,

But I do,

I think of you night and day,

Wandering about one thing only,

You might think this is doubt,

I believe my instincts and my sense,

Everyday you hop around the world,

Everyday the thoughts of you in my mind lure,

The hours turn to days,

The days turn to months,

The months turn to years,

The years to to centuries,

You have no idea how I feel about this,

You have no idea how this feeling can pull you down,

You feed in me and you live in me,

You decide to do whatever you have to,

I never once stop you though my heart breaks inside.

I can never guess or console your thoughts,

The whole matter seems to be of who is the stongest,

Who is the more dependent one,

Who cares less,

The matter also includes how I am insanely crazy,

And how you're perfectly doing fine without me,

The whole matter even describes how clueless I am,

How twisted my words are till words and sentence,

Dont seem to make much sense to anyone.

Who can I console?

Who can I talk to?

My best friends are away,

My family cant relate,

Strangers dont know the updates,

Oh my lets just keep it straight,

The only way I can fend these frustations,

Are through continous conjured verbose writing,

You shall never understand the complexity,

The ambyss that stares into my soul,

The foundation of this broken heart,

My doubts are not doubts,

My doubts are merely fragments of the past reflecting upon us now,

My fragments are my past,

And my past is something painful.

Maybe Im asking too much?

Maybe Im just not making any sense.

Maybe youre tired of reading.

Then lets just end this fairytale shall we?

I Dont Know If I'd Make It, But Watch How Good I Fake It

2011-08-30T23:47:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,

Yours Truly

Its been ages...and when I mean ages, I MEAN AGE-GESS.....Yes please do detect the lameness and sarcasm in my post today.

Yes, today I shall talk about ''stuff'' on my blog just because I know no assholes would even read my blog. But ITS MY BLOG, I CANT WRITE WHATEVER I WANT TO, I CAN GO CRAZY, ILL LET IT ALL OUT! (currently tuning to: Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae. You can see the resemblance there)

Well, Im pretty depress now don't ask why Im planning to keep this secret to my happiness or maybe grave? Hmm... owh but wtf Imma talk about it anyways! ITS MY BLOG! Write Amanda! Write! (stupid..its Type not Write =.=)

So, today I will talk about one thing only. SHITTY FEELINGS! You know that kinda feeling whereby you feel REALLY EXTREMELY SHITTY! But you just cant do anything about it and you cant tell anyone but your really really close friends. Even so, they cant help you anyways, so youre practically at your doom. And to just FEEL this way and to continue on with your everyday life, you'd had to fake a smile and just pretend everything is okay.

You struggle everyday, you honestly just wanna go to bed cry it out and forget about it. But you'll wake up realising that it aint working anyways. You face your life the next day and everyone expects you to be this happy cheerful crazy person that you always are but you just seem to break down inside leading yourself to bad emotional mood swings that seems to get everyone taken aback.

Well, I dont know about you guys but thats how I feel. Sometimes, you feel like youre at the happiest spot you are then soon after you see the flaws in this spot of yours. Youre just miserable inside. I talked about this last time, the feeling you get when everything around it just colourful and youre just well...black and white. Its miserable, cause they expect you to be this glimmer and ball of sunshine which you naturally are. But sometimes every sun has a time to set and then slowly you realise the sun is actually lonely afterall.

I feel like that most of the blardy time, even when the sun has someone to love. In the end, you still feel alone and left out. You still feel like no one understands you.

THIS IS NOT AN EMO POST. (maybe) BUT IT SHALL NOT PULL EVERYONE DOWN! because its my blog lemme fend please. =.=

ps: I just feel like you don't need me at all, why are you even here?

tuning to: Tonight Tonight by Hot Chelle Rae

The Innocence

2011-06-12T19:15:00.000-07:00

by,
Yours truly

It has yet been another long time since I last blogged. Been busy with our college's INTI ENGLISH WEEK!! Therefore I havent been doing anything useful in whatsoever way. Its so annoying. HAHAHA.

I had the most amazing dream yet. The dream brought warm shiver down my spine. It was like a fiction fairytale psyphi movie somehow. It felt real. That felt weird. A few days ago, while I was sleeping a bolt of electrical shock hit me from my toe. And cause me to jolt so hard that my posture didnt change but my position moved. and my hair? Covered my face. My heart starting beating real fast and I just couldnt sleep anymore. That jolt woke me up. But when I woke up I notice my hair flew infront of my face. WHAT THE HELL?? Okay you might think this is stupid but whatever.

The dream that I had was by far, felt the most real one ever. It was so realistic I died waking up. I will talk about my dream some other time but for now. Enjoy!!!

tuning to:

Tee hee

2011-05-29T21:48:00.001-07:00

I just blogged like just now but really I wanna write more :) anyhoos went to class late today because it's really smelly in IT class omgosh haha.

BO aka Body Ordour. Why do people have it? There's something called a shower but maybe showers just doesn't work? And best part of all maybe they just don't take baths at all. But long story short, don't be smelly. Really no one would wanna be around you haha

Letter to Me

2011-05-29T19:30:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I watched Letters To Juliet yesterday and it made me realise and be inspired by the fact that love has no limits. That was one of the messages, the message that I saw was how people from one end of the globe can meet in the centre. Okay no exactly the centre but ya know what I mean.

The fact that its not using the internet, its not using text, its not using phone calls. But letters.

WHO WRITES LETTERS THESE DAYS??!! I really love writing letters, who here has a penpal? I do. But its not some random stranger but someone I only met once. Of course we dont exactly mail each other, we email. But I wish we could mail. The excitment of waiting for the mail to come. I would love to see the writings engraved and the things that he has to say that restricts from the emailing.

What if there were letters for you? From a faraway place? Asking you, how have you been? and ends the letter with I hope to hear from you soon or wishing you well? Wouldnt that be just somewhat exciting? Its like when you write to the person you and him/her are in that world where only both of you exsisted.

But nowadays, you see mails that only come in brochures or worst bills and insurance letters. Nothing that personally you would feel excited about.

But anyways, its time for me to stop here. Letters to Juliet really kick the drive in me to go to a foreign country with my camera and with nothing else. I wanna explore and hopefully find an adventure like Sophie.

xoxo

tuning to: Love Story by Taylor Swift

ps: Have an adventure in your life, life is too short to be drown by backstabbing and hatred, It will only cause sorrow and anger.

DIE NOW LA

2011-05-26T00:27:00.000-07:00

omgfoshshshsgdaskjhdiuwfdidju

i need to die now because my teacher is killing me with his intensive BO x.x die la

As Days Go By

2011-05-25T22:39:00.000-07:00

by,
Yours Truly

As days go by, you seem to notice change in yourself. Not only on the outer appearance but in the innerself of your characteristics. Why do people change they ask?
Well sometimes for the better they do so and sometimes for the worst they fall.

Currently I found my way back to blogging again. You ask why blogging? Eventhough many may not be reading my blog but I dont really care, as long as I have a place to express. Its still medication or meditation to me.

Realising mistakes.

Do you do that often? Many read blogs for entertainment. They expect to see something interesting mostly pictures and funny lables and interesting everyday lifes. But what I write is about feelings and expression. I write to fill up my mistakes. To mend it. Where did I go wrong? What can I do to fix it.

Many will agree that youre not perfect in everyway. But sometimes your perfect in some ways. What may seem inperfect to some people may just be perfect to others. Example I am a crazy loud girl as enthusiastic as some many seem annoyed of, to someone that will one day love me. Im just the girl he wants and Im the perfect he wants to love.
Another example, to some people he may be a nerd but to her she is the perfect stud.

So is that a mistake? Or is that just love?

If you had done something wrong, maybe changing that bad habit makes you a better person. But what I am implying is, change what is bad and keeping you behind but dont change who you REALLY are. Pretending to be someone else isnt the way to perfection. Fxing yourself is the way to perfection not changing.

FIXING VS CHANGING.
Do you understand both concepts?

It's funny

2011-05-24T02:09:00.001-07:00

The fact that I just can't hate you

A SPECIAL SHOUTOUT!

2011-05-23T21:39:00.000-07:00

cheryl

arveen

Thanks to you, Im alright :)

THE TWO PEOPLE THAT WAS HUGGIN.

2011-05-23T21:34:00.000-07:00

HERE YOU GO!
CHECK OUT POST BELOW
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

TEE HEE....

SHe got pretty eyes

2011-05-23T21:12:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I can never be her,
And she can never be me,
What more could I ask from this disbelief?

AND HELLO WORLD! Hahaha Looks like Im back on track when it comes to blogging. I dont know whats gotten into me seriously. But I really suddenly love love blogging again. Lets see, today I woke up feeling lifeless because I cried for the whole night. Dont ask why, okay ask me why! :D because of some fucking bitch duh. =.=

I know I sound like a bimbo. Whatever.

So anyhoos, I woke up this morning feeling tired and dead I didnt even bother to put on contacts or even comb my hair and head to college with the worry that i wont be able to finish Malaysian Studies assignment. And so we went off to IT! Hahaha. On the way to college my dad saw this two people hugging each other while walking . He said ''Look at these two, is this what you call studying??!!'' Hahahahah Heres the fun part.

''Daddy those are my friends! hahaha'' You wanna know who are those two? Okay I shall post a picture later :)
Oh seriously my dad was like =.=
And so HERE IS TO YOU KENJEE AND KARMEN! hahaha My dad later on asked ''WHY YOU HAVE THESE KINDA FRIENDS WANN...??'' HAHAHAHA

You better study properly... was his last words. xp

And so moving onto IT class, saw a few bitch tweets from my troublemaker :) Thank you! Then I think because I cry too much until my jaws hurt and my headache got worst. Thank Goodness my classmate Kristin! Has PANADOL! Apparently my other classmates has different supplies of medicine. SO FEEL FREE TO GET ANY DRUGS FROM ANY OF US DMC STUDENTS HAHAHA.

And then rushed off to the printing shop to print out our assignment which was due today!!!! what the effff.... :)

GUESS WHAT??!!! SHE DIDNT COME. SHE WAS IN THE HOSPITAL. AND WE RUSHED FOR NOTHING. TEE HEE. FUCK MAH LIFE. :) YAY
THIS IS A VERY HAPPY POST RIGHT? NOW SMILE!!

xoxo

ps: I dont care about your fucktard tweets. Ya know? GROW UP. Youre clearly fucked up. :)

What sometimesseem like forever may seem just a while

2011-05-23T20:50:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I havent been blogging for ages, but I knew instantly that the only way I could release from all these is do what i use to do best. Blog.
Yes, if youre reading this now and thinking that I must be a nutjob whatever. Im over and done with judgement. ITS MY TIME. MY PLACE.MY BLOG.MY WAYS.

Im just gonna head straight onto the point. Starting college in Inti turned out to be a fresh start for me, but to my realization. Not everything is college is better. In high school I had never had these kinda problems before. What I belive was, a person with these kinda nature will only cause these kinda trouble. Therefore I shall define them as trouble makers :) And by causing trouble, you may ask what kinda trouble would they cause?

Well the answer is backstabbing and being a bitch :) you see alot of times there is this sorta thing called the popular people doesnt mix with the unpopular people cause they just dont fit in. Wherelse I thought this is so primary, cause it only happened to me in primary. Turns out it also happens in college. I know rite?

BACKSTABBING.

Why do people do it? One to show that they are at power :) In order to do so is to pick a prey that the majority doesnt really like and make more troubling statements about the person. Long story short, creating more chaos and trouble. Therefore, torublemaker.

Two, because they just dont have the balls to tell straight at that time and point to that particular person that they actually have a problem. Therefore also causing biasness and a display of gossiping. In this case, share the poison so that everyone can hate him/her like I do!

Three, they ARE JUST PURELY TROUBLEMAKERS!!!! :) So I guess that doesnt need explanation. Reason to why they are torublemakers? Attention seekers. There you go.

Why in the fucking hell am I talking about backstabbing? Because there is a childish mind in my class that does that. When everything was fine and dandy she had to do something :) But Im not saying this to trash her. Im just generally talking about backstabbing.
Lesson learned here is: Dont waste your time backstabbing, tell the person straight in the face that youre not satisfied with how they are behaving or the things that they said that had offended you. In addition to you tic tac brain of yours, GROW UP! Stop being a child and stop being a bitch. You dont go around saying youre neutral and acting like this my darling.

Hint: It just makes you look stupid. :) tee hee

And thus to my troublemaker, I wish you an angry recovery from being a bitch. #tee hee

Why does a Heart Break?

2011-03-29T18:43:00.000-07:00

No pictures here. Cos Im currently in college. Yeah I finally started college. THIS IS MY THIRD DAY AND IM ALREADY PISSED! Cos class keeps ending early, I keep waking up early for reasons to only find out that my class is either cancelled or its being called off early.

I know I know people say I might be complaining now that we arent doing much work, but soon Ill complain that I dont have rest and have too much to do. =.= WHATEVER!

Truth be told, the real post isnt about my college life or whatsoever. Infact its about my friend, lets just call her PWEETY. So Pweety and her boyfriend have been dating for almost a year. She loved him so much that she actually thought of marrying him. Well actually, was determine to marry him. She was one of those girls that didnt really belive in relationships and wasnt really the lovey dovey kind. Until she met this guy, that swept her feet off & made her believe in what a relationship can be and what love was.

The fact that she even started thinking that this was the man that she wants to marry was divine. Sadly, after one year and after her boyfriend chose somethin more of a physical love (material as in somethin eg: drugs,booze,etc)

Than her.

I feel for her. Because as a friend I love her so much. Now that she is hurt and she shut herself from the world. I HOPE THAT GUY WILL SEE HOW BLIND HE WAS. I love you! STAY STRONG BECAUSE I know you loved him so so much.

haha!

2011-03-23T05:24:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I finally got SPM results. Lookin back on the months of worrying and not being able to sleep. Im glad its over.It was so hard. haha

Its been raining nuts these days and I havent really got to blog in a proper manner. My blogshop so far ish awhsome.

I just wanna tell everyone that, no matter what your results were. Bad, good. Just learn from me, if youre disapointed and you dont wanna talk about it. Tell your friends I dont wanna talk about it. But if youre results are good and you post how crappy having 8As and one B seriously!
You should be more considerate, because there are people that are worst than you. So they might just think youre showing off. Oh well, if youre not so satisfied about what I wrote. GO FIGURE!

because
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

tee hee <3 style="text-align: left;">ps: shuttup about REBECCA BLACK. WE ALL KNOW SHE SUCKS :)

tuning to:

haha here is for you haters :)

I know.

2011-03-13T00:50:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

LOL! If youre wandering who is this ajojeble kid. He is my nephew. SUPER CUTE AND MISCHEVIOUS. Yeap mischevious until can pull my whole ponytail. I swear he just made my hair prone to growing. But yeah I cant deny that I oh sho lurb him. Haha

I have stopped my job at The Vanilla place. And now Im superbly free until I can blog all day. Brings back memories.

Ahh...kinda miss working though. I have really weally good bosses. Haha. Will blog about them soon. They honestly dont know that I secretly took embaressing photos of them. Haha.

Yes this is what I do to out receipts haha. Draw and do nonsense.

But I can never deny how great the macaroons are. haha.
LOOK AT ZE PWEETY COLOURS!

I actually found an all americano restaurant that serves really awesome
cheese burgers. Its called KALAMAZOO.
Apparently, Aman Suria has really good american cuisines haha.
Including Rosemary Bites but I havent try them yet. So yeahhh....haha

Okay so this post I KNOW. Is about this particular day when I went out with Andrew, Daniel a.k.a TANG & Jeremy. Though I didnt take any shots of Jeremy showee. All thanks to my Darling Joanna for the stupid pictures haha. But here we are the three baboons. Messing around in some shop.

what a moment haha.

I wanted to get this. :(

And ze following pichas will make u slap me. :) enjoy!

Okay yes Im stealing the camera shots. whatever!

yeah rite Andrew haha.

He is a COCK! haha

Thanks Joanna. =.=

Okay here is the fun part. A dare between me and the guys. Tang & Andrew had to do some slutty poses. And if they succeed I will wear something that they pick. SO YEAH! If they lose however, they will have to pay for my lunch. Jeremy hasnt appear in the picture yet. So he escaped this fiasco. haha.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!

opps not yet. I mean.

LET THE GAMES BEGIN!!
(for real this time)

This is what they want me to wear. =.=

this is what I WANT THEM TO WEAR. haha

yeah we were going thru the deals.

still trying to figure out what is ''slutty pose''.=.=

ye-ah. okay.

me : DUDE! FASTER!
Tang: I DUNNO HOW!!??

dumbfounded.

andrew is also figuring it out.

while me and Joanna just laugh.

Andrew wanted to lay on the ground and do a slutty pose.

ye-ah epic phail.

THEY LOSE. I PUT BACK THE DRESS AND GET MY LUNCH YEAH! HAHA

pure defeat.

I LOVE YOU JOANNA HAHA.

Here you go. My shuriken pork thingy haha. My lunch.
:)

TEE HEE

tuning to: I Do by Colbie Caillat

THIS IS ME

2011-03-10T04:53:00.000-08:00

by,
Yours Truly

i dont care

i smile so often

that you dont know it hurts

PAIN

2011-03-10T02:58:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Yes you read it right. PAIN. Ever felt that stab in your heart so bad that you just cant breathe?

You know youre betrayed and you cant say a word. Because maybe somewhere deep inside you think ''Hey maybe I deserve it''.

Or maybe this ''It just wasnt meant to be''. Or worst ''IT WAS ALL JUST FOR PLAYS''

It hurts me like how a kid sees their toys get ripped apart right infront of their eyes. BUT WORST. I feel like I cant even say anything, do anything to feel better.

Then again I thought '' I didnt make an effort so why am I bothered?''
And then it came to me '' Oh yeah, thats because I didnt give up yet I didnt do anything''
Then again it concluded ''Oh wait, it was all one sided anyways''

AND THE CONCLUSION COMES TO THIS '' IM IN FUCKING PAIN PEOPLE!''

Yeah you might not understand what the fuck im talking about but youll it know when I tell you. The person that you liked and was waiting for because you thought he needed time and space to think turned out with some other girl. And you have no idea who the crap it is. Its not his fault. But it hurts to see too ya know.

IT HURTS! THATS ALL! Tears cant even ease the stab. Its scarred. Thats it. I DONT BELIVE IN LOVE ANYMORE. I OFFICIALLY HATE THE WHOLE DATING THING.

MAYBE I SHOULD JUST TURN LES.

Muah muah muah

2011-03-02T02:37:00.001-08:00

by,
Yours Truly
(my belly damn big)
=.=

Leanne & I were never friends. We met when we were Form 4 (16) and never liked each other. It was in tuition and we were giving each other bitch stares all year long. She was with her bitchy friend aswell always causing me trouble and giving me stares to hate!

Until one day in Form 5, she decided to come to my school. Of all places my school. Nevermind that, turns out she is also in the same clique as I am. *bummer*

So I guess I was forced to be ''nice'' to her. Its not like we even talk before. Its a girl thing. Haha.
Never look at another girl with bitchy stares. YOU WILL DIE. haha.

Long story short, we found something we have in common. And we found out that, we aint that bad after all. She wasnt what I thought she was, and I wasnt what she think I was aswell. We grew close without even knowing it. Stupid I know.

But nevertheless, we still laugh about it. And now? WE HAVE A BUSINESS TOGETHER.

MARSHMALLOW GRENADE

Our baby.
Here is the story of how little baby MG was brought to life.
We were discussing on styles and clothes and blogshops and all.
And Leanne said the most important thing to me
''Wanna have one?''

And so naturally I said
''YES''

And we did it hard and fast. And out pop Marshmallow Grenade. Hahaha
You must be having dirty thoughts or something. Anyhoos, back to what I wanna say
Leanne was the girl that I used to head. Likewise to her.
But we were capable of creating something that we both love.
Thanks Leanne.

I miss miss miss watching 90210 and I SUPER HATE STARWORLD for being so BLARDY SLOW WITH THE SHOW! My favourite episode was when Liam was trying to get Annie but couldnt convince her that he wasnt gonna hurt her. So he moved into her house! (okay technically spy on her and try to get her to like him) And all that crap turn out to THIS.

HER SEEING HIM NAKED.
EYE CANDY!!!
=.= Lucky Annie =.=

But I couldnt hate Annie she was too sweet hehe. And anyways I was so attracted to her sailor bow top. It was shoo cute!!

Liam: I know youre checking out my sexy abs
Annie: *moans* ohhhh why are you so blardy hot???!!!

Hahaha Okay at least that what Im thinkin.

So here I am pondering on some certain things and I found something similar to the outfit from this episode. And its gonna be sold in MARSHMALLOW GRENADE real SOON!!!

Heres a sneak preview:

xoxo
by,
Yours Truly

Love at First Sight

2011-02-07T06:57:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Have you ever thought? That maybe love at first sight exist?
Have you ever look at the person & knew that THAT was IT.
Have you ever seen someone and hear your heart beat so fast that you dont know whether you should speak. Or just stay silent till they notice you?

But questions run wild. Does he see me? Does he even wanna talk to me? Does he even find me attractive? Or am I just another normal jenny from the block?

I met this guy for the very first time, never knew him. But thought that he was cute, but the more we talk the more I find myself into him than ever. He likes the same music and shows as I do. We finish each others lines and all. But so what? Maybe it was just coincidence. I mean alot of what I like is just so so COMMON.

But as I had to leave I watch his adorable face slowly fade. I thought, this is gonna be the end. And I didnt realise that I kept thinking about him.

Whats wrong with me? He feels so close yet so far.

I guess thats just another story to tell. But not for me to know. Im never gonna know and never gonna reach him. And I dont think I ever will.

You keep appearing in my dreams. What does that mean?

tuning to: Straightjacket Feeling by All American Rejects

ps: This post might aswell be fiction

Two Tone Idol : Shanae Grimes

2011-01-22T19:45:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I have to say that 90210 is like MY FAVOURITE SHOW. All time!

Especially Shanae Grimes. Its just such a nice refreshing character to watch. And the fact that her hair makes a bigger statement.

I WANT THIS HAIR COLOUR!

Check her out isnt she just the gorge??
You cant help but stare with envy.

The hair is just so amazing that I cant stop wandering.
Should I? Should I not? Hmm...

I personally like this picture because it was so beautiful.
I honestly want my own camera now=.=

Heres a better view on the two tone hair. WADDAYATHINK???

tuning to: Grenade by Bruno Mars

ps: I LOVE YOU BRUNO!!!

What Beats This

2010-12-27T23:23:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

For a whole month I havent been blogging about anything at all. My facebook is full of pictures but my blog is dead as ever. It also goes to show that nobody reads my blog. Who cares? Im not exactly here for anybody's entertainment. Im currently bored to death due to holidays.

To be honest, Im starting to miss wearing the school uniform. As much as I think school is a drag, what is more fun than being around friends?

But to seem that these days hanging around random friends is just another drag because you seem to be planning all the outings. You seem to be caught up with the same routine.

Meet
Eat
Movie
EAT AGAIN
Walk walk walk walk
Go home.

The thing is I never really mind all this before that. Its just that its the same routine, different crowd.

Havent you ever wander what it would be like to jump down the parachute? RUN AND RUN AND RUN until you cant take it anymore? Lying on a soft bed to see the stars? Its just another amazing feeling that I really wanna experience.

My favorite and most want thing to do RIGHT AT THIS VERY MOMENT. Is to sit on a merry go round at Genting at night. Where nobody is there to disturb you, youre just spinning and spinning and spinning. Its like flying but in a different world. By now, if youre reading this youll be wandering ''what the hell is she even talking about?''

Well here is what Im talking about, life is so short but boring because we made it that way. We keep boundaries for ourselves. Why cant we just do something MORE?

I went out with Mayyi and Sarah the other day. It made me realised that we've known each other for what? Eight years? EIGHT YEARS!!!! And this was the very first time we went out together. What hold us back? We have no idea. The fact that we live in three different corners of KL. Omgosh are you kidding me?

But it made me realise that even an eight year friendship has its first.

The fact that its our first time out together. They still didnt mind shopping for my prom shoes with me. I love you darlings.

To end this with a photo of three of us.
NOT! They decided to camwhore while I try on shoes. =.= Thanks guys. Really.

I still love you huns
-The End-

tuning to: Tiger Lily by Matchbox Romance

Picture Talk: Graduation 2010

2010-11-22T02:09:00.000-08:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

As we approach spm(tomorrow) by the time you see this. You know its already the end of our senior year. We cried, we laugh, we gamble, we study,we ponteng, we skip this and that but all together we had fun. We had the cheers. Being in 4 &5 Alpha was different but being different isnt such a bad thing.

I get to be close to a best friend

I got to make new friends :)

and stumble upon another bestfriend :0

I get to have great classmates

That see eye to eye to some things.

Even when we may seem outta reach

We get still get to meet.
(Ying Huei)

We got to know a companion with the same passion
(Xin Ni)

We get to meet companions with same feelings
(Eric)

We get to meet the unfornute happy
(Mas)

We get to meet the bittersweet
(Hsien Zern)

We get to meet the people that listen
(Nabil)

We get to meet the compromise
(Ming Chang)

I love you Una! You always made a normal day seem different and all the gossips xp.

and the uninvited a.k.a Nabil

Hsien Zern and Una

Joe at the back

Me, Nabil and Damien

I think Joe secretly knows Im taking his picture bet he is thinkin
''Take summore take summore!!"

Me and Mummy Damien its been so long :)

Damien and Izzat

Hsien Zern and Una

me and Mun Kit

Nazrin and Izzat

Guess not only girls camwhore?

Me and Joanna Darling :)

Joanna and Leanne

Leanne,Henry,Eric,Kai Yen & Donnie

As usual Henry has to say everything. Eric ignores Donnie entertaints :0

Kai Yen:0

Leon Jie

I LOVE YOU YIN HUEI

Haseef

moving tables here and there.

poor eric

Michelle and Yin Huei

Michelle and I :)

what I did to the table. The ugly drawing with the pencil is clearly someone trying to copy me

here is my
MONSTERS IN A BAG :)

Me and Has

Me and Julian

xoxo,
Yours Truly

ps: I love you all

2010-11-10T19:10:00.001-08:00

will update soon. STUPID LA I BLOG SO LONG. SUDDENLY THEY SAY SOMETING WRONG WITH MY POST. sorry :(

2010-11-10T19:09:00.000-08:00

hello

Why minniemouse??

2010-11-10T18:04:00.001-08:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

So the other day Juen Li asked ''Why you so obssesed with minniemouse???''
No....its not because I read Cheesie's blog too much until I go minniemouse crazy. Infact Cheesie promotes minniemaos. NOT MINNIE MOUSE!!! =.=

So here are some perfectly good reasons why I extremely love minnie mouse :):

NUMBER ONE:

because it makes you so freakishly cute like this
mini minnie mouse
mmm??? triple m?
Well if you are a triple m then you would be ultimate cutie pie max!!!
kekekekeke

NUMBER TWO:

because it attract guys in a crazy way.
THAT BIG THING ON YOUR HEAD IS CAPTURED EVERYWHERE!!! YAY XP

NUMBER THREE:

because minniemouse brings back the youth in you.
Why not re-live your childhood? You got one life :)
no need botox or youth reguvanating or SK II keke

NUMBER FOUR:

because its just so friggin nice to camwhore with xp
I mean how can you now right? Its the basic thing to do when you have such toy/ instrument to play with. What more to have such iconic merchandise?? come on you know you wanna try it :)

NUMBER FIVE:

because from the start I WANTED THOSE MINNIE MOUSE BOW
As you can see with the minnie mouse bow it actually looks really cute and you dont need to use any accesories because YOUR HAIR IS ONE! Here are some shots of it taken back last year during the December month :)

top view :)

front view

AND NOW!!!
TAKE A MINNIE MOUSE SHOT kekeke

NUMBER SIX:

because it gives you extra height
See how annoying it is when you dont have the minniemouse ears? because you tend to be TALLER if you put them kekeke.

NUMBER SEVEN:

because it makes you look skinnier!
Not scientifically proven but still it gives volume?? O.O
NVM....

NUMBER EIGHT:because you own man!!! kekekeke

NUMBER NINE:

because it attracts the opposite sex
Okay I mean dogs not the opposite sex. fml.

NUMBER TEN:

SEE!!! Its proven kekeke xp

NUMBER ELEVEN:

because you look awesome next to anyone!!
That thing just makes you look even more interesting than anyone hahaha.

NUMBER TWELVE:

because you get to paint your nails to awesome minnie colours.
do em black and youre just gonna be boring and emo. SO WHY NOT CUTEN IT??? hmm.

SETBACK 1:

You tend to be ignored due to bimbo issues....

SETBACK 2:

YOU EVENTUALLY TURN CRAZY DUE TO PPL IGNORING YOU :) TEE HEE

I guess thats all for now. So now you know why I like minniemouse? Its just the best of the facts hehehe.

ps: MINNIEMOUSE ROCKS!! <3

xoxo

boo hoo you

2010-09-10T07:36:00.000-07:00

Hye ya everyone.

Currently at Penang for my aunts house warming

Superbness. xoxo

Just had dinner and now its well oh well

10.37 pm hahaha

Im kinda tired but decided to just blog for awhile kay?

brought to you by,

Yours truly

Headed to Penang from 7 onwards. And the rain just kept pouring and pouring. Could barely close my eyes last night feeling a little dizzy when I woke up. I felt so restless so annoyed....why must I wake up at 6??

Better yet why must I sleep at 1.30am.

This is so not a good routine people.

DO NOT TRY THIS.

Wake up with my eyes sore, walked down the stairs with my cellphone on the right hand and the others with my pillows and blanket for the trip back. Hey if Im gonna make my stay comfy Im gonna rock it my style baby.

My comfy ride and comfy sleep plus the beauty of dreams are a mixture of heaven kay?

Sadly I could hardly have it.

Got ready and I was the last that was funny. I had never been last to pack or leave the house. I was the last to have breakfast aswell and I wasnt happy the foods gone cold the drinks turned not so feelin. Couldnt eat.

So I just drank my milo whipped it off my face and left with my lugage with a prayer in hand.

So from Subang up until Bukit Merah it rained for exactly 3 hours. How not a perfect trip huh?

Wet everywhere tummy growled and not feeling well.

Miss talking to Joanna & Shauna :(

Finally the last 1 hour it was sunny and bright and yay we finally reach. Whole day we were walking walking walking around never slept not in the car. And went for dinner with no satisfaction. AT ALL. :(

And now Im facing the comp listening to this:

I guess thats all for now.Im just facing the comp updating my blog after so long. Sorry I couldnt upload pictures.

contacts are so not out yet

xoxo yours truly

ps: I miss you <3

Picture Talk: JAJA

2010-08-23T02:36:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Meet the J-Joanna

Meet us JA - Amanda & Joanna

@Chillis(my fav spot for lunch)
Meet me & my favourite Chocolate Banana Milkshake <3

yummy yumm nachos with melted pan cheese

candid shot of me nomming

another candid shot of me NOMMING!!! RAWR

Joanna about to puke after the nachos haha

Then we shifted places cos the table was too small for our massive food
I swear that the waiter there saw us in uniform and look down on us
Cos they gave us the superb small and lousy table of the whole
ENTIRE RESTAURANT. SCREW YOU!
WE ORDERED MORE FOOD THAN U CAN EVER EXPECT US TO ORDER.
Noommm..hahaha
nuff said :)

Meet the other J-Jeremy

Jeremy can seriously eat man. He eats like a monster!!
We cant even finish our food and he wanted to order more!!
whoooo whee

Jeremy nomming

Meet JA- Jeremy & Andrew :)

@ Toys R Us

You put JA

AND WE GOT JAJA.
Andew, Amanda,Jeremy & Joanna

Jeremy trying to avoid paparazo muah :)

Andrew stoner

stone again. =.=
And the rest of the shot?
You just have to make your own caption.

So now.
Meet The Jajas :)
-The End-

tuning to: Teenage Dream by Katy Perry(muah) ahhaha

2010-08-13T05:28:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

''Having a broken heart is hard. But mending it is harder'', nuff said

My life has been nothing but daydreams and everything that is normal occuring an average teenager. Hmmm.... I present to you another dream.

I was on the same cliff again. The same dusty high cliff. This time something was different. The wind was strong but not snipeful. The sky was clear not a single cloud but it looked like there were alot of colourful beams around. They looked like layers of different transparent cloth but colourful....they were moving closely.

I remember what my Physics teacher told me its the magnetic field around our earth that causes these occurance to happen. Usually on the East I think?

And there I was again. Always standing on the edge. And my hair blowing away from my cheeks. I could feel the coolness but it wasnt chilling. I let the wind slowly sway me away. And then I turned my head over my shoulder. There stood another girl. In white.

She looked at me with eyes like she knows me. And I returned a gaze of confusion. I have no idea who she was. She was wearing a dress similar to mine. Wasnt sure about who she was though. She looked at me like she was waiting for me to follow her. And I walk towards her expecting nothing.

She then streched out her hand and I took it. She led me to the edge of the cliff. And then we jump down together.

As we jump ( dont ask me why I jump down a cliff with some random girl I dont know. Hello DREAM?) I could feel the colourful beams layer by layer going pass me and then I look around she was gone. And I saw nothing by endless falling. Then, everything stopped like slow motion. I felt like I was still falling but slower now. And then it stopped. I stopped falling, but now I was floating.

And I saw a pair of hands around my waist. I streched out both my hands like I was flying while I close my eyes and I did fly. But I couldnt see who those pair of hands were from. And he whisper in my ear '' Dont worry love, Youre in safe hands''

And I smiled as I loved how his warm breath collide with the coolness that strucked my ears. It sent chills down my spine. My eyes were closed and I just embrace the racing wind that had been from our flying. And then we stopped flying. We were floating again.

And he whispered once more, ''Open your eyes love. Dont worry just open''

And I opened and I saw many stars within the layers and layers of beaming colourful transparent lights. The stars looks like glitter on cloth, but brighter. And he turned me around so that I could face him. This time I saw again.

It was him. That same guy that I always saw. He looked like an angel with the pair of white feathery wings. I couldnt blink I couldnt stop but stare. And his smile was charming his eyes sparkle like the stars in the skies.

And then he said again, '' Do you see that?'' He pointed towards a particular blue star.

I stared at where he pointed. He continued '' Thats where we will be someday. Ill bring you there love. Forever and always you will see your favourite star. Would you like that?''

He then whispered in my ear, '' Youre my shining blue star love''

A Glimpse Of Hell

2010-07-25T02:38:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

previously.....

''Whats your name love?''. She was stunned and it took her a second or two to reply him and she finally said ''My name is Cassie''. And he asked '' Is that some sorta nick name or something?''
''Yea...Its Cassidy actually. People call me Cassie for short.''

He smiled leaving her to blush. ''Cassidy? Thats special....what does it mean?''
She was shocked...nobody had ever asked her what her name meant and she replied '' Well. Cassidy is a star...a blue...'' ''Star...the one comes every once in four years?'' he interuppted her.
She smiled and say ''Ye-ah...howd you know that?''

''Hmm..I just know'' He smiled at her leaving her wild with blushes.

As she swept her feet on the ground like a girl in love she told him '' Well I better not be in your way...so....erm..''

''Yeah Ill see you around'' he said with those gorgeous smile again. And before she left she suddenly remembered and she turned around and asked ''Hey...Whats YOUR name?''

He laughed and smile saying'' Its Adam'' . And she smiled replying ''Oh the first guy in the whole entired world''

''Haha....Well howd you know that?'' he asked with that same grin. ''Well I just do'' she replied with a coyed smiled.

'' See you around Cassie the blue star''
''See you around Adam the first guy''

And she left with giggles from the room. As she walked down the corridor, tears slowly streamed down and when she turned back and saw that the classroom was gone as everything else vanishes behind her. She knew she wasnt going to hear that song again. She knew that she wasnt going to be able to feel the same way again. She knew....she would never see him again.

She woke to know that at least one thing was real. Her tears and feelings. She knew that eventhough it was a one night thing. A dream...
but she knew it was worth it to feel the same towards Adam. Because what she felt was real.

..................................................................................................................................................

I was walking on this road...it was like a carnival. It was dark and everything looks so deserted.
I was walking with a bunch of people. It felt like tour, a tour through those deserted dirty, old and dark grounds. And I was just following and following.

I passed by this big red tent. But it looked ridden down and broken. As some circuse performers were looking hungry and restless puffing theyre cigars like it wasnt any good.

And I couldnt take it anymore. Everything here looks so dead and ridden. Whats going on?
I decided to run away from the crowd and as I ran. I dont even know where the heck I was running. I stopped gasp for air and slowly paced backwards looking at the eager crowd walked away from me.

Still gasping for air and walking backwards I accidentally bumped into a stall. I turned and looked behind me, panicked cos I thought I broke something. There was a man in a big hat looking down, his head slowly came up to face me. I saw his face it looked tired and restless. His eyes tired yet alert. His face was so....pale. I could see his jawlines, deep and obvious. His eyes milky and and his lips dry and dusty.

He didnt say a word as I stared at him. And he lift his hands and sway it across the table infront of him. So I guess its his stall. And I looked at what he was trying to show me. The things on his table. Some looked like a weird bottle with liquid inside. Some looked like beauty products but no...theyre not what you usually see. And I look at the price, 8 dollars, 2 dollars. Well Im not sure what currency they use.

Then I took one that looked like a blue tiny bottle and turned around to look at the lable. It says 6 years. And I ask '' What does this mean? 6 Years?''

And the guy replied '' It shall last you six years''

And I asked '' Last for what?''

He looked up into my eyes and say '' It will last you six year in hell. In provides you water for six years'' He sounded tired and scary.

I felt my hair stand up. And then a group of people came and they bought a few bottles and equipment. As they call it equipment because it was liken to equipment and things you could use to make your life easier in hell. Or you could say death in hell.

And some bought three bottles of the liquid thing. So six plus six plus six. So the bottle can last you 18 years of liquid.

And I saw how he gave it to them. As they intend to make a payment he pulled out two strings. The strings were black and white twirled together and he poured out the thick liquid from the bottle and the string absorbed them all. It was weird and scary. I have no idea what to expect. And the people that bought them looked eager and hungry to it. But the man was in no hurry. He gave the people one string and he kept the other. And they ran away greedily.

And I asked '' What is this string for?'' he replied with the same tired tone '' Youre not from here arent you?'' I shook my head and replied'' No...what is this place?''

He looked at me like he was out of breath '' Its where restless soul roams, as they prepare for either heaven or hell. But mostly, hell is the biggest majority here.'' I stared at him blanky and he gasp for long tired air and continued '' They come and prepare themselves, equip themselves actually for hell. They buy this liquid and these other things to have it easier in there. They come out once every year to roam this dusty ol place to stock up. They're addicted to it''

I couldnt say anything because I was wandering why was I here? And this man gave me the creeps. He looked at me again saying '' Well missy? Would you like some equipment aswell?''

I could only swallow the lump in my throat but the air was so dry and I opened my mouth and said '' What about you? Why arent you in either?''

He replied '' I work for nothing, I've been here long enough. Im only waiting for the rest'o me to fade away. You see the dust around you? Restless soul like me fade away into these air. Im halfway there. I'm only dust now.''

And as I went around the stall I saw that his legs were gone but it wasnt like his legs were being chopped off it was more like it was made of sand and wind blew it away. And I couldnt help but to scream.

He smiled at me apologeticly saying '' I got no where to go ya know missy''
And I realise this is a glimpse of hell....

2010-07-23T04:14:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Okay just for the record. YES MY HAIR LOOKS LIKE AN EGGSHELL/HELMET/MUSHROOM/LITTLEBOY/ blah blah blah. Screw it!

Lately I've only been coped with planning my birthday. I really hope this works cos I NEVER HAD A BIRTHDAY PARTY since well primary four. Yeah Im a sad child. You wanna know whats worst? Its in MCD last time. Now Im finally having it in my house and alot of people cancelled on me. I feel so depressed. What happens if no one comes. Dang!

Plus this tragic hair. Superb useless crap! Mummy's phone broke down :( and she bought a new one! Whee...on the same day it broke down she go buy a new phone =.= Oh I finally bought the burfday cake! Its gonna look horrible. Im serious. Cross fingers. Wait lemme use reverse physchology. ITS GONNA BE SO FREAKING AWESOME!! YE-AH.....

Yeap perfect blabbering...yet again..

Eric & I had a fight it kinda got me thinking whats the next step for us? Doubt & Insecurities suck ya know...Currently everything is fine. =/ BTW!! WHY ISNT ANYONE GETTING ME A KUNG FU PANDA OR TOYS STORY tumblr.... =.= zzzzz This is annoying.

........................................................................................................................................................................

She continues walking down the corridor. The light that shone into the window showed that it was in the evening. Outside the dry automn leaves fall slowly. The corridor she walked on was empty and wide. It wasn't scary. It wasn't lonely it was just nostalgic. Stepping into the same place that she didnt know yet again.

It was the circus first then the moon and the rides...now...the corridor she walked on. She remembers it was a school and she knows it was a school but from where? she assumed...She remembers that someone used to play the guitar in that one particular classroom.

And she walked slowly in her ballerina flats. It was as if she was dancing in the corridor, gracefully slowly, gently like there was no rush but yet she was lurching forward for urgency. Her steps were light yet curious.

And then....she heard...

He was playing the guitar at one corner of the classroom. Sitting on the table where it faced the open windy window, where the leaves and flowers slowly sway theyre way into the classroom. Each note touched her, each note reminded her, each note....made her even more curious.

''I know this song'', she thought to herself. And she just stood there at the open door staring at the back of the guy that played the guitar. She closed her eyes and listen to the music ''Oh God. Where have I been? Why cant I have listen to this sooner?'' Without knowing her tears came streaming down.

It was as if the song said to her '' Welcome back my dear, I missed you so much''. And then.....

The music stopped.

She was stunned and immediately open her eyes. Her mind went wild '' Whats going on? Why did the music stop?'' She tried to figure out what was going on tried to see but her tear filled eyes blocked all sights of her vision. She ran her fingers around her hair resting her palm on her eyes and wiping the liquid off. She finally could see.

All she saw was that guy staring at her like a stunner. She blanked out, studdered '' Erh...I...I...''
That guy was still looking for an explanation holding his guitar with his left hand and while the guitar rested on his lap, still facing the way with his head spunned towards her with his hair that was clearly not long enough to cover his eyelashes on the left.

Still studdering '' I....erm...heard...'' '' What are you doing here?'' , too late the guy interupted. In a disbelief of embaressment and stoned moment she answer '' I'm erm..sorry I thought nobody was here...and I heard the guitar...the door was open...I..erm...huh'', she laughed with an awkward shrugged with one hand crossing towards the other.

The guy looked at her with amusement cocking an eyebrow at her replied ''Huh...! So you were just...erm..passing by?'' Now she could see him blush as he turned his whole body towards her while he rumbled with his hair. And she replied with that awkward laugh again '' Yeah sorry, I was blabbering. Erm I'll be on my way now. Sorry!''. As she finished her sentence he quickly interuppted '' Hey!'' She stopped. Turned around slowly as she bit her lower lips. Waiting.

'' Omgosh he's kinda cute. Is he gonna ask my name? Geez why must this be such an awkward moment. Great I just screwed up a chance of being seen as normal'' as she thought to herself.

And he finally spoke '' Erm why were you....crying?'' .

And she thought '' Oh gosh of all question. That! Was what he was gonna ask? What happen to, whats your name? or are you free sometimes?''
She cleared her throat and forced that lump down saying, '' Erh...well...Im...not...sure..'' She shook her head while she gave that awkward smile as if she was guilty of something.

The guy nodded his head and gave the same smile. ''Hmm...you...dont know?''
''Ye-ah......''

And he started laughing. Leaving her as awkward as ever. '' Hey...whats your name?''

In shock she looked up and faced him. She saw his face for real this time. He had big cute eyes. He had an innocent face that has a little edge in them. His lips were perfected with his gorgeous smile. And as he squinted to her she melted a little, he looked so cute as she thought to herself.
At that moment of time it was as if she went to another realm with him.

She hadnt given him an answer yet. She was staring into blank space.

''Hey...erm...'' with a shock she woke up from her thought. ''Huh? What? Wah???''

With a smile clearly amused he repeated '' Whats your name love?''

tuning to: Endless Love by Glee Cast ( favourite song so far :) )

Friends

2010-07-16T21:53:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

When you have friends that back you up no matter what. How can you ask for more? When you fall so hard you couldnt get up. Your friends are always there.

Shielding you automatically no matter what happens. Its a natural thing, its the instant shock of adrenaline that says ''I have to protect my friend'' or ''I have to help my friend''.

Its the most basic thing in human nature. Some people dont have it due to certain reasons. Friends tell you whats wrong with you. If you have an attitude problem theyd be honest with you. If you look beautiful today they would tell you too. If you are sad and broken they would be there as your shoulder.

I was having a really rough day yesterday. Fought with two ballsacks. Haha. Havent gotten a chance to actually step back and think about the situation. And now I did. I realise how many came for my aid. And I know that they are the ones that I can count on no matter how hard my situations get. Your family may not even understand your feelings because they ''used'' to be like us.

Not anymore...

Your boyfriend/ girlfriend maybe your companion but it doesnt mean they'll stick with you for long and its not like they will get irritated or even understand your pain sometimes.

But your friends....If you have true friends that truly care about you. They are the ones that might aswell be your companion through hardship. The ones that you would count on. :)

I love you! My friends. My companions...my lovers...and loves... :) <3

remember
F.R.I.E.N.D.S

Thanks Una, ZY, Damien, Leanne, Sea Yunn, Kai Yen, Bensern, Jian, Shauna. :)

ps: Im sorry I cried you guys!

Hungry Nights With Sleepless Days

2010-07-12T19:35:00.000-07:00

I have never really felt so confused and stuck in the shadows where I usually hide. The shadow I mean a literal shadow of peace in my mind was suppose to be my own saving spot. Somewhere I wouldnt need to bother to cry or shout or even scream and run around crazy withouth any interuption because I had never left that particular door open.

But why? Why now? How many wrong timings Ive gone through and not been bothered and now? I am bothered!!! Im BOTHERED????!!!!!!!! Kanana...

I had the most wonderful conversation last night & I felt like I left my door open. Its a real drag because damn....I really really wanted this! But...somehow..somehow...Im just stuck in the middle of everything. It kills me to know that its wrong TIMING. Whyyyyyy!!! WRONG TIMING!!!! I am stuck in a bittersweet moment. I was sooo freaking happy

LIKE JUMP UP FIREWORKS CANDYLAND RUNNING AROUND WITH A BAR OF HALF EATEN CHOCOLATE STRAWBERRY FOUNTAINS AND CRAZY CNADY LAND LIKE WILLY WONKA GONE COOKOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Okay Im definately nuts. AND THEN!!!! Here comes the bummer. WHY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?????????

Then tears just flow out tears just started flooding that open door & yes...Im gone...My Candyland just died and the clouds turn dark and black. I was going...going..Im gone... :(

tuning to:

I Dont Know

2010-07-11T04:40:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I was at the edge of the same cliff again. I keep having these dreams like Ive been here before a thousands times but its at another end of where I was before. The dreams that happen, it feels like it happened on the same world but different sides of the world.

I thought I was on the same cliff. That sandy dusty ground. The sky felt so near to me but still unreachable. I can see the stars so close at night. But it was daytime this time, I can see that the sky was really blue & I was so near to the clouds. Still unreachable but yet so close.

Somehow rather I was wearing the same white dress again. It was bright and sunny but it was cooling. I didnt even manage to break a sweat. I dont know what I was staring at but I was at the edge of something. I remember being afraid of heights but this felt so different because I couldnt see the ground! All I see is other cliffs that look similar aswell.

Then he appeared again. But he looks different. He was wearing the same white shirt and white pants staring at me. Then I realise it wasnt the same guy that always approach me. It was another guy, and yet a certain farmiliarity appeared. I know him!

I know him in real life. But why him? I could recognize that lighter anywhere I go. He was holding it in one hand spinning it but it was not threatful. It was his habit, but how did I know that? He reached out his hand for mine. I took it knowing that I wouldnt be hurt at all.

We were walking and walking and I was staring at him looking at his face like I was safe. Safe enough to last forever. He held my hand tight but it wasnt hurting me. It felt alert. We reached a stream. The water was flowing and around them was a beautiful wild flowers and trees. Its like something you see in a picture or a fairytale. But it was so real.

I stopped, I didnt know why I was afraid to cross the stream cos I was afraid that I would drown? He looked at my worried eyes knowing what I was afraid of. And he gave me an assured glance. Telling me it was okay because he was here to hold me no matter what. He never spoke but it was as if he talked to me through his eyes. Again another farmiliarity.

He held my hand ready to cross. And the water was cold but not icy cold it was just right. It was until my knees. He lead me again through the water, He couldnt keep his eyes off me but so was I. We walked into the middle and stopped. He asked me to look below my feet. The water was crystal clear and I saw below....sparkling things that I dont know. I thought maybe it was diamond dust or something, But the things move...like fishes...they were what I would call.
Diamond fishes. It was so beautiful, nothing like I would have ever seen.

He then lead me outta the water and we continued walking. There was a small house and suddenly the day turned dark it was already going into the night. The house was so small but again there was a certain sense of farmiliarity.

He stopped before we entered the house. He pulled out a crown made of flowers and put it on my head. He kissed my forehead.And he lead me behind the house where there was a huge garden with a big swing covered with vines that flowers blooms so brightly. The garden was like being Alice in Wonderland. We sat on the grass, oh how the grass smelled so nice. And brought out his lighter again letting me lean against his shoulder while he lights the lighter and shuts it and lights it...and shuts it...and lights it and shuts it...and slowly I woke up.

And I realise.....it was just a dream.

The Crazy Weeks

2010-07-11T04:20:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I joined Talent Quest! Woah...unbeliveable? Anyhoo I only got through the semi finals. Shall introduce you guys who my guitarist for the semi is. But here is what happen last night. I dont have the pictures yet...so...yeah..I learned how to play the drums@!!! *just a lil la* haha...

I was in this drama for our school Talent Quest night. It was the well known Phantom Of The Opera....For 3 weeks we worked hard and yes alot of chaos and drama where up in the air aswell. But last night was the night! The worked payed off eventhough the sound system clearly sucked. It was a memorable night. I wanna thank Abigail Chong, the director of the drama. Eventhough she is constantly lost in her own translation and she doesnt have well put coordination. Deep down inside I think she did her best.

I wanna thank the drummer Andrew who is like 2 years younger than me. For teaching me how to play the drums and being such a gentleman. Eventhough he basically only plays the drum but he is usually the slave to me. HAHA. Poor Form 3 dude...haha

I wanna thank Daniel & Raiz oh...also Luqman for playing the piano, bass & guitar. Eventhough you guys get on my nerves sometimes when you tend to jam instead of practicing the POTO thing.

Mostly I wanna thank Mr Sri for being such an awesome teacher. Cos he let us ponteng in the computer lab eventhough he knew we used the POTO name as an excuse. Thanks Mr Sri. :) Oh well after last night no more ponteng-ing anymore. Eventhough we hardly ponteng but it was an esperiance.

Oh now Andrew doesnt need to listen to me and the ''Sisterhood'' on our Baking Life thingy. HAHA.

OH!! Here are some pictures from where I went out with Jian, Jay Han, Justin, Shaun & Chiu Pin. :)

Bumper car rides ROCKS!!
(i think)
*kiddy style ya'll*

Meet Jian :)

Meet My niece, Claudia
(she knows how to do tricks!!! xp)

Meet the ''Sisterhood''
(super noisy bunch of us trashing about a certain couple)
YEAH YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE MANWHORE AND WHORE!
:) Ka ching :)

&

Sea Yunn from Canada will always be a part of the Sisterhood :)
Andrew too=.=

Meet Joe Kern my guitarist for semi finals.
Thanks again :)

xoxo

tuning to: Always Be My Baby by David Cook

CUT CUT CUT AWAY

2010-06-17T04:21:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I CUT MY HAIR ALREADY (no its not the picture on top) I havent have the time to upload any pictures yet including the pictures from camp and the day out with Jian. SO.....PLEASE BE PATIENT! Hah!

Im so happy I finally cut my hair...feels lighter haha. And I GOT NEW GLASSES. Okay not done yet la...but still in the making. Gonna meet up with Joanna & Chelsea tomorrow. Watching Toys Story 3 gonna be the happiest day of my life mannn.....haha..!! Hope Chels can make it though she hasnt confirm with me yet. Eric & I are not fighting anymore. We good. He apologize. Hah! :) I WIN....lalalalala...Okay sounds so childish.

Anyhoo...Currently addicted to the stupid game on Facebook called Baking Life. Geezzzz...im hooked. Hahaha. Anyways, Jian is at JOHOR! Lucky dude...get to go Singapore. I havent been to Singapore eversince standard 4 okay?

I know...what a sad child I am..ouch. Anyhoos, will give ya'll new pictures soon. Maybe later la haha. xoxo

tuning to: Fall In Love Again by Jason Castro

Mishaps

2010-06-15T08:33:00.001-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I woke up with morning to find myself with a red eye on my left eye. Kinda panicky when I woke realised I woke up at 1pm in the afternoon. Mummy came up to check on me and found me siting up like some crazy person on the bed side. So she came and asked me ''Whats wrong?'' and she saw my eye. She asked me whether my medication is still with me and I said ''Its expired'' Oh what a joy everyone!

So I thought to myself. I dont think its that serious. And I pop in my contacts (non coloured ones) and I told my mum while I look in the mirror ''Mummy? I think I need a haircut already''.
So mummy being all nice and all took me to the salon after having to wash up. Usually Ill head to A Cut Above but I really wanted to try something NEW! Haha so I went to somewhere else.

The people there were nice, the songs there were mostly Leona Lewis accomadated. And eventhough they didnt provide tea like A Cut Above usually does. They are one heck of a professional. The outcome of my hair was great, and the best part they didnt even offer to ask me to buy any of theyre products which I really hate when I go to somewhere like that.

So I got ready for tuition & guess what? Me and Eric fought from A FREAKING PAPER! He wrote something that really pissed me off okay more like hurt my feelings. Im not gonna write what he wrote kay. But seriously, screw you Eric! =.=

I HATE YOU!
BYE!

Oh btw, I hope Li Jian comes back asap :) Have a safe trip Jian! Thanks for the wrapz :)

tuning to: California Girls by Katy Perry

With Glad Adoration

2010-06-13T08:01:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Truthfully saying, there are some reasons to why I slowed down blogging. I remember the days whereby i super semangat to update my blog. If Im a few days away I would STILL update my blog. But now? I just dont have the materials, strength and determination to do it. But I think my determination is back on the road people!

Hurray! So my friend asked me this

''When Are You Gonna Update Your Blog??''
Geez.....I dunno

''Your blog is like one manga, Have to wait for super long period of time for a new entry''
Haha =.=

''I dont know whats up with you anymore cos you dont update your blog''

Awww.... NOW YOU DO! :)

So am I gonna dissapear again? Maybe....But Im here to entertaint again. And again...and again.
So about two weeks back I got out and met up with primary schoolmates Carmen & Amerlyn. Oh course as always if you put a bunch of girls together. Chaos shall rise. WHAT TO DO.....

Can you spot Carmen?? Oh well..she intended to... Same phone! Yay! Us!

I changed my phone to Nokio 5230 already. Yet I still love my old phone W530i super love the pwetty pichas that comes out. Hahah...so Nokia? PLEASE UPGRADE YOUR CAMERA QUALITIES ;) tee hee

Meet Amerlyn yabbing on the phone asking Toh Seng where he is =.=

SUPER FML moment. When Toh Seng decided to meet us up at Fullhouse. First thing he saw Carmen and Amerlyn he hug them saying hi! Long time no see. But when we turn to each other and he was like ''Hi Am...and...da...'' He was superbly hesistated to give me a hug and I straight away said ''Its okay..I dont want to'' Superb fml moment. Awkward....

Yay Carmen. We can see your holes

We were looking at another camera
*photo below*

Mah chicken...

THIS CAMERA LA!

And of course....girls will be girls...CAMWHORE!

Actually we almost got blacklisted by Forever21 ya know? Cos we all went into the same fitting together and got busted...the people there sure hate us man.

AND MEET ERIC muahahaha

PICTURE TALK:

RAWR!

wheee

xoxo
Yours Truly

ps: super tired just came back from PD! Will update asap!

tuning to: Tiger Lily by Matchbox Romance

Whats Important

2010-05-16T04:51:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Exam....EXAM....EXAM....Next Tuesday! *faints backwards*. Somehow everyone stresses about the same O same O.

But honestly what is more important people??! My friend used to say, live your life. Studies is just a side dish while it comes to you a bigger dish would be THE WORLD. Better known as reality. Parents however would tell the same thing to other people. But to theyre kids they say different.

Anyone ever notices that when parents talk to someone else, they would say

STUDY WHAT?

STUDY STUDY STUDY

IN THE END IN THE REAL WOLRD NO JOB!

but towards theyre own children they would most probably say this

WHY YOU NEVER STUDY WAN?

IF YOU DONT STUDY HOW

TO FIND JOB IN THE REAL WORLD?

if your parents DONT do that. Then youre one lucky child.

For me the most important thing in my life would be family. Is your family important to you?

xoxo

tuning to: Tiger Lily by Matchbox Romance

Sometimes

2010-05-04T19:55:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Sometimes its hard to lose someone. Whether you like it or not. My previous post was on death, about how afraid I am to lose my grandma. Well now, Im talking about facing the after death of someone close to you. Recently someone just past away and I'm not THAT close to him but I do know who he was.

His name is Chew June Hoe. A 19 year old guy that graduated from my school with hopes and dreams yet fallen into the traps of gambling. Some say he was addicted to this due to a certain influence from some of his friend. Yet I think its too late now to point fingers at who...

All I know is, June Hoe ended his life young and with full of regrets.
He left a letter before he commited suicide quote ''Why Cant God Let Me Win Just Once'' .
If I was his friends, I wouldve told him

''God doesnt curse, God doesnt make your life hard.
He provides. But because you took the path that was wrong
That you end your life for it. God will cry for you & tell you that
There couldve been a better slot for you to win this game''

And because he took this path, he lost his life. Im so shocked to find out that someone from our school. Especially a friend of a friend passed away. It wasnt something that youd hear everyday. And I really hope that HE WOULD FIND PEACE. As many has already left a comment on his facebook quote RIP. I would urge that many would learn to be wise on takin paths. Its sad to know that someone took their life due to wrong choices. You wouldve been a great person June Hoe as you always were last time. Rest In Peace....

It Used To Be Me + You

2010-04-20T06:50:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Just about last Friday I missed out on alot of things. Many events such as my darling Shauna's Birthday. 5 Alpha class party. Sports Day( Urrgghhh). Choir. =.= This kinda sucks in a way everything that is good and awesome happens this month and I think Im gonna miss it all.

Im currently facing with alot of stuff. Having my grandma in a seriously ill stated verge of death condition just freaks me out. Sometimes I imagine getting the news on the phone that we have to head back to Kedah asap because we have to meet out grandma. And when I do, she'll be laying in the coffin as if she was sleeping not hearing our cries and our screams and terror. Im scared, I faced losing someone close already and I never wanted to go back to that path whereby I have to face all this hurtful craziness again.

Just last Friday after school, my parents and I rushed back to Kedah at about 3pm and reached at about 8 after that we headed to Penang to visit my grandma. That time was already 10 to 11pm close to 12. I was the first to rush up and see her.

It was scary. The hospital was a strange place for me to be at, I dont know where I was going. The roads were dark and the air was cold, everything was dull and sad. I found her room 234. She was there. Her bed facing the open door as if she was awaiting anyone that would come into the room to rescue her from her misery of being alone in the dark with four more other old women that was suffering with her. I knew she didnt like it there but I think knew better that it was for the better to maintain and control her condition.

I walked in and she was there. She couldnt make out who was standing at the door step and walking towards her. Until she could get her vision properly fixed she knew it was me. She called out to me with her hands streched out and her smile was wide. She didnt expect to see me, cos she thought our lives were too busy for her. I asked her '' Are you feeling fine?'' and she replied ''Yeah I'm feeling better, you didnt need to come visit''.

But I knew better I knew her days were numbered. But she didnt. She didnt know how bad her condition was. She didnt know that she was dying. She didnt know that anytime could be her last time. She was just happy. Happy to see her family, her grandsons and daughters to be there! Especially when she is sitting on the bed all alone when she thought darkness awaits her. She found herself peace. (no...not that sort of peace)

She knew one thing, her family was there for her. I think she sensed it though when I started tearing under her arms while she stroked my hair for the first time of my 16 years of life. I never felt so attached to her. It felt like she finally felt sentimental towards me. Like I was her daughter. It was a good feeling.....one that I dont wanna lose to death. I guess she knew that I oozing tears out so she jokingly told me (while stroking me hair) ''You have so much of hair, why dont you cut some out and give me some?''

Giggling wasnt an option but I managed one and reply with a smile '' I will if you get better''
After that I just wanted to spend my whole day with her. Or night it was even possible, I had the feeling that the nurse might just kick me out if they found out that I was sleeping on the same bed with her. It was too short.

According to the doctor, our normal heart rate is 60 but hers was from 10-20. Which means she could just go anytime. Im worried of course.

Yeap, I went there for 3 days to miss my darling Shauna's birthday! :( Im sorry dear. Will make it up to you. For now lets lay aside the unhappy part and celebrate my girls 17 Birthday!

WE WENT TUITION TOGETHER

WE ANNOYED EACH OTHER

WE LOVE EACH OTHER

And....Of course... WE CAMWHORE!

To The Sexy Birthday Girl Shauna Voon!
Happy Sexy Seventeen

I wish that everything would go well (finally) for you. Cos we've been there done that. And now its time to enjoy life to its fullest. You know what they ''Youre not seventeen forever'' Just enjoy and rock your fun out babe. Xoxo Superb Love to you hun!

xoxo

tuning to:

Can You Belive/ Picture Talk

2010-04-10T04:56:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

CAN YOU BELIVE?

That THIS!
IS CURRENTLY NOW:

this

Im Still Free, Take A Chance On Me :)

2010-04-04T02:30:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

I just got back from Penang and boy was the weather hot. Came back about 3.45 pm and already missed my bed. (Okay mostly I missed Facebook & my blog) I realised that I abandoned my precious blog for too long. Though my trip's picture isnt going to be the topic today.

I couldnt manage to see the person I really absolutely wanted to see though.
Wanna know who?? Check it out.

Hehehee.
I mean how can you NOT????? LOVE HER???
Absolutely supreamely cute.
This is why babies get all the attention.

Meet this darling baby baby girl call Claudia :) Shes going to have a lil sister/brother soon. Yes somehow the mum got an accidental bang up. Way to go Douglas. According to mummy, babies that are borned in the year of the Tiger (meaning this year) are extreamely ''pantang-ed'' (being against) by most of the chinese people. Why? Well....Its not good that if the baby girl is borned in that year they could hardly find a husband. And even if they do, most of they marriages fail. For guys its not too bad cos the Tiger seems to a very fierce animal.

Though for me it seems more like egotistic. Hah! Proven a failed Tiger marriage....Hmm...I know of someone but I think I'll just keep it to myself. No need for public humiliation though.

Okay so having to notice that people who are borned in the Tiger year = BAD LUCK.

Note to self:

Tiger Year People= BAD LUCK
*nods heads*
*ps: Im not responsible to what I say cos 100% of the chinese old people tell me the same thing*
KA CHING.

Anyhoos, I ATE I ATE I ATE............... Two packets of CADBURY CHOCOLATE.
I think Im going nuts..................Wheeee............ Which reminds me that the chocolates have nuts aswell. Okay Im being totally random arent I? Yeap. Hey, try staying in car for 4 hours being nagged by old, loud and annoying people. On the way you spot some sampat-ed people that looks 80% like a rempit. THEN! You tell me if you can stay sane. Whaturf tee hee

I absolutely miss the times I had with Nellie. And here I am walking down memory lane.

The bimbo girl and I.
Her first time in Fullhouse. And she didnt know what was ''bimbo'' last time.
Such a naive girl. Hah!

''MANDA WHATS THIS??!!!''
Hah! :)

Nellie actually suggested that we bought the same tees to wear it for our December camp. I feel so gay but I somehow agreed to the plan. Some kinda best friends tee. Yay! Though I didnt like what it was printed on top on the tee.

We tested like two although we went through like a dozen of them. =.= We are SO NOT ON THE SAME PAGE. ZZZZzzzzzz....

It says,
''Im Still Free, Take A Chance On Me''
Seriously Nellie what sort of message do you plan to send to people???
*smacks forehead*

Okay Im officially embaressed by the whole fact that I agreed to buy that shirt. Though we didnt really have any choice. Those were the only two pairs. Hah! Fated so you call it??? Hmmm....

xoxo,
Yours Truly

tuning to: In My Head by Jason Derulo

Currently

2010-03-28T04:20:00.000-07:00

brought to you by,
Yours Truly

Stories, I always forget how to tell a story. Somehow I always get caught up in situations whereby I forget how things usually and normally should have worked. I realised that all this time we spend so much time on homework,tuition,friends,TV, Facebook and blah blah blah. But what we really dont see is how beautiful is stepping outside of the house. Technically outside of town.

This morning I woke up at 4 am. Yes you read correctly 4 am! Got ready and got outta the house at 4.45 and reach church at about exactly 5am. I could still see the stars and the air was like at night. Everyone gather at church and we got ready to head to Broga Hills, Kajang.

Then I thought, I seriously wanna sleep. Reached there about 6.45 and the main purpose there? Was to see:

THE SUNRISE.

Freaking sunrise. Crazy right? Climbing that hill was more like climbing mountain man....Everything there felt like 90 degrees. You have to get a stick or something to pull yourself up. Everytime we stop by somewhere where we thought we already reached. Turns out theres another 25km to go or something =.= Took us about 2 hours to reach the peak. Everybody was outta breath when we reach there. Some even pengsan. So yes! Im proud of myself that I didnt stop to lay down on some stupid huge rock or what so ever. Haha.

The view....Omgosh the view. Super nice place to take wedding photos. But if you wanna climb all the way up there just to take wedding photos. Think again. Maybe helicopter might help? Haha. Seriously beautiful view. SERIOUSLY. Gorgeous scenes. Breezy wind can beat aircond man seriously. My hair is like flying everywhere I felt so high jack. Haha.
Pictures coming soon so no worries.

Anyways so this is what happen like......Last two weeks? =/

I went to Pyramid to have a haircut and this bimbo here followed me. Haha. Check out the picture above. xp
Met up with Nellie and had a blast with her. With SJ church members and also Mr Eric. :) Fullhouse obsess Nellie is loving everybit of the time we spent together. I watched Solomon Kane! Super max violent but worth to watch I give 7/10.

Hints: Maybe you should understand Christianity to understand the story.
Super like a game liddat man. xp

I guess I'll end here with a super duper random pix:

Alvin, Yours Truly & Tang
Big glasses and sling bag people.
;)

tuning to: The Only Exception by Paramore

Obviously

2010-03-11T19:11:00.000-08:00

Ive promise you a post. And a post is what I'll give you. No pictures no whatever just a post :)

Loads of things happen from CNY till this crazy March. Lets start from CNY.

CNY

As you know is always a hectic moment and memang la. Memang sure confirm get money wan. If you guys didnt get any money. Just your luck :) Anyways, speaking of money has anyone know the price of fishes has gone up AGAIN. Kns. For like the how many thousanth times do they wanna have an argument over FISHES. =.=

Had fun with a time night out with my cousins as they brought me to places in Penang I never thought could or would have existed, the night life duh. Quite alot of ah guas more than I expected to see. Some of them are even exposed until like some tuuttt....Like a tube that can see their extra layers of fats and the skirt...DID I MEANTION THE SKIRT?? Short until I think I can see their balls hanging out kay??? Please just keep them to yourselves ah guas. Thank you very much. It would be such a great appreciation :) ka ching.

Went to a place call Moneky Bar. Its actually pretty cool cos they actually have like the left over kargo plains inside. And Ivan being the one with ''taste'' decided to sit in it. We sat there just to drink. And a bunch of rempits were singing out loud. Oh gooooshhhh.

Anyways, next shall be my cousins wedding that would have proved avant garde to a whole new level. At g Hotel, the current new and great hotel that had made waves. Actually met alot of celebreties there that I didnt even know were celebs. LOL. My cousin hinted me. On my cousins wedding dinner before the cocktails. There is this My fm. event. Some kinda chinese new year thingy. Dunno dont care :) kakaka

And guess what. I think I finally found my Edward Cullen. LOL. Sadly he doesnt look like my Eddy. Lol...So I gues...You'll have to find out Mr.Amanda Lew by yourself. Lol :) So I think there shall be hints. :)

Theres alot more to talk about. But Ill update soon :) xoxo all.

tuning to: Telephone by Lady Gaga ft Beyonce